Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Trouble In Paris-dise.

Sorry I haven't been around, I've had a bit of a rough patch with my health (it happens, but fortunately my bad periods aren't as bad nor as long as they used to be). I will be visiting blogs soon! And I can't tell you how much I appreciate your concern and kind words and comments and everything.

But the truth is, it's not my illness that's making me suffer. The source of my pain comes from something so terrible and so tragic I hesitate to even write about it. I'm sure you can guess what is causing me all this pain:

The Paris Hilton situation.

It's really weighing on me. I mean, can you believe it? Paris has been sent back to jail! For a brief moment, we all thought she had escaped and we were all ecstatic. We all began to believe in God again. With his divine intervention he had helped Paris beat the system and reaffirmed our belief that good people always come out on top. Or so we all thought. In fact, her brief escape only made the hammer come down harder on her poor suffering millionaire soul. So now she has been sent back to jail and she is supposed to serve something like 40 days in jail! How ridiculously unfair.

But I guess Paris should feel lucky that she doesn't live in a place like late 18th century Paris where she would have likely suffered a fate comparable to Marie Antoinette's gruesome beheading. Late 18th century France was not a good time to be an aristocrat.

But the crux of the matter is that I suffer because Paris suffers. Actually, I also suffer because my dog keeps drinking from the toilet and then he sneaks over to where I am and licks me! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

41 comments:

Pod said...

you really are the modern day st sebastien huh? such a bittersweet life!
(i am going to find an osteo for you...sorry you've been feeling shite)

chin up mate!

;0P

Tara said...

Poor Paris. She's back to doing some hard time in the slammer. That's not hot. >:)

Mariana said...

The main reason I read your blog is because you're the only one who feels sympathetic for Paris. Paris-ites like we have to stick together! I hope you're feeling a bit better now... Maybe Rambo is just trying to give a new meaning to "giving you a taste of your own medicine!"

Zhu said...

Tell your dog to stop right away.

Turn off the TV and close your eyes - no more Paris Hilton.

Hope your health gets better !

(I'm so tired, I really can't write more !)

Gary said...

Hey, I am so thrilled to see you back in cyberspace. Sorry that you are not feeling your best. This post was really amusing. Yes, poor Paris! Well, at least she is going to change her ways and use her powers to better humanity - you know now that she has found God and all.
Sending you good thoughts and hope you are feeling more yourself these days. Anything I can do? Let me know.

marxsny said...

Perhaps Paris is drinking from the toilet in her little 5x8 as well. I just hope she makes it out of there without someone shanking her in the shower. I wouldn't want her to miss that prison release party her father is planning for her in Vegas.

MrManuel said...

Every time a Paris newsbite hit, I thought of you. Glad you are back...

Sebastien said...

Pod: Thanks buddy! I'll get better, I already have gotten better so I keep my chinny chin chin up!

Tara: So not hot. Well, at least jail is quiet?

Mariana: haha, tsste of my own medecine that's funny!!! Everyone loves Paris!

Zhu: Oh hey, there was a typo in your post. I think you meant to say keep the tv on so I can absorb as much Paris Hilton news as possible. The answer to that is I'm already keeping the tv on night and day and it's awesome getting up to the minute updates on this critical Paris Hilton situation! Thanks for the well wishes!

Gary: Thank you so much buddy! There're ups and downs, but what counts is that overall things are improving. Yes, Paris found God! Why is it that previously hedonistic humans always turn to God the minute something goes wrong?

Marxsny: Hi! Thanks for the visit! I've actually heard that toilet water is quite delicious because it gets refreshed every once in a while due to the flushing. At least that's what my dog says.

Mrmanuel: I'm so honored that you think of me when you hear about Paris Hilton! Haha, that's so funny :) or frightening?

mist1 said...

She's a Paris-ite.

Sebastien said...

That is a very valid point!

Babybull40 said...

She (paris) is really not any different from us.. except she has money and brains.. (apparently she told Ba Ba Walters that she no longer wants to play the dumb blonde act any longer..)Well we shall see if she comes through.. I can't imagine my name being dragged through the tabloids... I also can't imagine what her family must be thinking.. Where the heck are her parents during all this.. Do they not know how to be parents...? Oy Vay....
Anyhoo.. Sebastien I'm so happy to see you back amongst us bloggers...Rambo... Well that is what dogs do ya know...lol

H said...

One of my cats plays in the toilet. He finds it entertaining to dip his paw in the cool water. Maybe this is an activity that could keep one amused in prison? ;)

Dan said...

Actually, I also suffer because my dog keeps drinking from the toilet and then he sneaks over to where I am and licks me!

And now I'm suffering for you.

Glad to hear your better Sebastien. You're a good guy.

Princesse Ecossaise said...

Your dog is so very naughty!!!

It's good to see you back here - cheer up Paris aint worth it!!

Leiselb said...

Oh but didn't you hear, Sebastien? God has set her free in jail...she wants to focus on other people now...she has been transformed into a humanitarian AND a spiritual person in less than like, 24 hours. Talk about rehabilitation! What are they DOING in that jail??!!

glorious said...

I'm so glad you are back. Sorry you weren't feeling well.
RE: Paris...I suffer because I keep having to hear about her.

Sebastien said...

Babybull: Thanks Babybull, it's so nice to be back! Yes, Paris found God, hehe, wouldn't you know it... I'm sure it's awkward for Paris' family, she is famous for all the wrong reasons.

H: That is so true, I'm sure Paris will pass the time with this little game.

Dan: Thanks Dan! It really is horrible when the dog licks me after drinking from the toilet. Truly terrible. The horror, the horror...

Princesse Ecossaise: It's so nice to be back! My dog is naughty, but he is such a kind creature, I love him so!

Leiselb: Hahaha, I totally heard about that! Why is it that the minute something goes wrong for a person who has previously led a crazy hedonistic lifestyle, well, the minute something goes wrong they turn to God to bail them out!?

Glorious: Thank you so much! Haha, I understand your pain, Paris news is all over the place. I'm so happy I can contribute to the problem!

l.b. said...

Sebastien, I feel the pain of your feeling Paris' pain.
Oh! And I have a tip for you and your dog! Keep the lid closed. Still, dogs have other tongue habits which I might worry about just as much or more....

Sebastien said...

Hahaha, you make a great point, about the keeping the lid closed. As for the other things to worry about, I know, I know, I have nightmares about that too...

Pod said...

you will you will! i wish i were there to stick pins in you (on purely therapeautic grounds of course) and speed the process up!

MONA said...

SEBASTIEN!!!
dont worry..she will have room service!

& as soon as I came to know about the verdict, the first thing I thought was "poor Sebastien!"

frenchyflower said...

yay! you wrote a blog entry. I'm disappointed however, that you did not do it on pygmy shrews....sigh.

Any ways, glad you're feeling back to blogging and hope that your empathy for Paris's suffering doesn't affect your empathy for Rambo's suffering when he fails to catch the rabbits.

Good for Me said...

hey mister...now i feel awful that i haven't been visiting blogs in my current state of busyness. sorry to hear that you've not been well. i hope you were able to get the rest and support you needed.

M said...

Don't people sometimes suffer for their art? Maybe the Paris-ite (ha!) ordeal will inspire you!

And glad you're feeling better!

Sebastien said...

Pod: Haha, thanks buddy, I'm glad you would be willing to stick pins in me, haha....

Mona: Hey you!!! I feel so relieved to know Paris will have room service! But yes, I suffer, this whole Paris Hilton situation is truly tragic.

Frenchy: I'm so sorry! I forgot to write about the pygmy shrew. I promise, promise, promise to write about the pygmy shrew soon enough! That's true, Rambo does suffer too, he hasn't caught a rabbit in a while now!

Good for Me: Oh no, don't feel bad! You have a lot of things to be doing and a lot on your mind! Thank you, fortunately I have a loving family which makes everything sooooo much easier!!!

M: Hey, that is great thinking! The suffering that Paris Hilton is causing me will inspire me in my art!!!!

taarzaan said...

so glad your back-sorry about putting the ju-ju on your celebutante sweetie, but she mad me cranky. I'll get over it......just for you.

Sebastien said...

She made you cranky!? My oh my, what could poor little ol' Paris have ever done to upset you? Just focus on her awesomeness, and all those other things that annoy you about her will disappear and fade away...

Babs said...

I really hope you're feeling better. I was getting worried there with no posts from you. The most important thing is to take care of yourself. Next is to keep sleeping with that AK-47 and bowie knife.

Maybe you should put the lid down or you know... maybe give Rambo a bowl of water every week or so.

Sebastien said...

Thanks Babs! The ak-47 really helps me get a good nights rest!

That's a good idea about the water, but Rambo LOVES toilet water, I don't know why.

WAT said...

Seb, Seb, Seb.

There, there. Paris will be out soon, and you should start feeling better in no time.

For now though, SUCK IT UP.

yellowdog granny said...

I'm glad your back..you were missed..
Poor Paris..she can't help it that she was born rich, spoilt,with ADD,claustiphobia, and an over stimulated vagina..and a love for the camera..can you say...Cheese?

Sebastien said...

WAT: Thanks for the uplifting words! Still though, it's very painful, it's so hard seeing Paris in jail.

Yellowdog Granny: Thanks so much! You're right, Paris is such a wonderful human being. We all love her!

imhelendt said...

OH.MY. GAWDDDDD. I *KNEW* it! I'm just going to pretend I did NOT read a word you just said. ;P I won't come in your living room and say bad things about Paris. I'm just going to slowly back away. ;D

Sonja said...

Hail, hail Sebastien's back!!! Yay! I think Paris belongs in jail just for the grief she is causing you and the negative impact she has on your health...what an evil wench.
Speaking of toilets, I heard Paris was afraid she'd get her picture taken using the toilet in jail, that's why she was released to house arrest. Does she use the toilet in some odd or original way from the rest of us?

As for pets and toilets, I have a toilet story. Two days ago my bird Gobi was in the bathroom with me while I was using the aforementioned bathroom appliance. Usually I put the lid down right away afterwards so he won't fall in. Well, guess what-I didn't put the lid down fast enough and he flew right into the toilet - plus I hadn't flushed it yet! Aaargh! I rinsed him off under the tap, then I took him to the vet just to get him checked out but he was OK. Whew.Luckily it was only liquid not poo that he swam in. EEeeww!

Lisa feel better said...

hope you are feeling better. sucks. sending you some good healing vibes.

Josh said...

Glad you're posting again! Look on the bright side, at least the Paris debacle has turned everyone's attention away from Anna Nicole Smith!

Sebastien said...

Imhelendt: Hahaha! Hey Helen! I know you love Paris, don't lie!

Sonja: Hehe, lord knows how Paris uses the toilet, these are things better left unthought about! Hahaha, OMG, that story about Gobi is hilarious! What a funny little bird!

Lisa: Why thank you! I'm feeling a bit better, you know, it's the way it goes, ups and downs, but I'm getting better overall, that's what counts!

Josh: This is a very very good point. Thank god for PAris!

Katie McKenna said...

hello and hugs Sebastien! I hope you are feeling lots better!

Sebastien said...

Thanks Katie!!!

rachelcreative said...

Hope you are feeling better.

Hope you don't mind but am tagging you in one of these internet meme thingies "6 weird things about me". Apologies if you have been tagged before :-)

Here's my post on it http://rachelcreative.wordpress.com/2007/06/27/6-weird-things-about-me-doodle/

Take care.

Katie McKenna said...

I popped in to say "hello!" You are missed!