More on My Dog's Problem, Plus I'm Worried My Dog Is a Hippie. Please Note: This Post Is Rambling and Incoherent, Yay!!!

Haha! Look at him, he likes funny sleeping positions! Anyways, could this cute little dog actually be...

A Reincarnated Hippie?! Please God, Don't Let It Be So!

Some of you are very right in your guesses about the dog problem. I still can't find the words to write about it, but I will now euphemistically refer to the problem as an 'eating disorder.' I cried myself to sleep last night, and around 4 am I woke up from a dream where my dog kept committing his sinful act. I screamed myself awake from that godawful dream, yelling, 'No, no Rambo, don't eat thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttt........'

Now some of you must be demented, twisted, porno-loving sadists, because you immediately thought the problem must have been leg humping. Shame on you, sex is the first thing that comes to your mind, I mean, are you guys like sex freaks or something!!! Some people think the root of all problems is something sexual, well you know what, it ain't. Sex is not the be all end all in life, well, no, I guess once you think about it it kinda is... Maybe that's debatable, who knows... I say we smoke lots of marijuana and then engage in a debate on this subject.

Let me quickly jump into another topic, although it's still related to my dog: I'm worried that my dog might actually in fact be a reincarnation of some hippie dude from the '60s, some Kerouac Ginsberg Kesey worshipping acid taking group orgy sex maniac beatnik who couldn't walk straight even if you said you'd give him $500 to do it because he was so high on a cocktail of drugs he forgot that when you're not stoned carpets don't move like a wave and look like coral reefs and light particles don't split into individual beams that harness a message from God. And no, this belief that my dog might in fact be a hippie is not a flight of fancy, it's a flight of cold stark realism mixed in with a variety of acid flashbacks and hunger pangs because I NEED chocolate!

Anyways, all I can say is this, I'm thankful my dog's problem is not a leg humping problem. So I guess things can always be worse, right, I mean, leg humping is one of the most ungodly, disloyal, treacherous, sexually deviant acts known to man. Seriously, if there's one thing I will never put up with, it's leg humping. Should be written in the Constitution, no leg humping allowed in this COUNTRY!

I did consider shipping Rambo off to Iraq so he could grow up and gain a little maturity, I thought if he joined the Army he might learn some godamn discipline and maybe the Army'd help him overcome his most evil, terrible, hideous, disgusting 'eating disorder.'