Sunday, May 03, 2009
Super Happy Starburst Fun Fun Time
The first car I owned was my favorite car I've ever owned. It was tiny, brown, had red hubcaps and white-walled tires. It even shot starbursts out of the exhaust, daaaayyyyuummm that was cool!
I was living in Japan at the time, and I didn't even know it, but I had been chosen to appear as a contestant on a Japanese game show. It was called 'Wow Wow Super Happy Fun In Your Earball Happy Time.' I didn't speak any Japanese, but no matter, when I was chosen to appear as a contestant for this show, I couldn't say no!
The premise of the show was pretty interesting and challenging. Each contestant was given 100 pounds of 5 drugs, namely heroin, morphine, cocaine, LSD, and marijuana. With these drugs, we were given a 3 hour window to sell them, we could choose any location we wanted, have friends or associates help us, plus use any method of transportation we wanted. Whoever made the most money off of selling these drugs in the 3 hour time window was the winner. The winner of what you might be asking?! Well, the winner of what this whole story is about, a little brown car with red hubcaps and white-walled tires and an exhaust that shot out starbursts of course!!!
You know how the show went, since I ended up with the car. I had made the most money off of selling the drugs I was given, and I was prouder than proud could be.
The sad thing about this story is that during the contest one of the other contestants was caught selling the drugs by an FBI agent working undercover in the Japanese prefecture of Ninomiya. Said contestant was promptly extradited to Abu Ghraib where he enjoyed several productive years, getting to take stretching classes, lessons in electricity, and fascinating lessons in agitated dog behavior.
Anyways, I ended up with the car, so that was cool.