Thursday, June 11, 2009

Larn'in Me Some Gardening


'For young trees under four years of age, the most effective method of cold protection is to bank the trunk up to a height of about 15 inches with clean soil' - courtesy of this webpage

So, I'm totally learning lots of stuff about gardening. This soil protection technique fascinates me, so simple, so clear-cut, I like it.

Otherwise, I've put Rambo (my German Shepherd) on 24 hour patrol. I've seen some hawks flying around the area. Now, I know they usually don't eat citrus trees and bell pepper plants, but one can never be too careful. I'm also in the process of putting some ground to air anti-bird missiles in the yard. If that wasn't enough, I'm still having to fight off terrorist rabbits (the terrorist desert ground squirrels are no longer a problem, thanks to my ruthless tactics, ie fox pee, uh, actually it's a long story).

A couple of weeks ago my red chili pepper plant had produced a wonderful fruit that I was ready to harvest. To my utter dismay and horror, the day I came to harvest the fruit, it had already been half-eaten by some good for nothin' varmint (these creatures have no morals, and they don't even think of the 'poor starvin' kids in Africa' because they leave food unfinished! the monstrosity of it all). I will never forget the sight of the crime, pieces of chili-pepper strewn about the ground, the half-eaten pepper limply hanging off its branch, forlorn, violated, and devastated, clinging to its last thread of life... I have yet to find out who or what stole my chili pepper, but some of my sources inside the rabbit warrens are leading me to believe that a rogue terrorist rabbit assaulted my chili pepper plant in broad daylight.

As I gather more information, I will locate and capture this rogue terrorist rabbit. Then, uh, I guess I will cook him and eat him for lunch? With a chili pepper thrown in?

11 comments:

laura b. said...

May I recommend a children's book? It is called Muncha! Muncha! Muncha! and it has some fine tips for keeping those pesky wabbits...I mean rabbits, at bay.

NoRegrets said...

Mine are the bug variety. They must pay for their sins...

Tara said...

Mother rabbit to son: "Young rabbit, you aren't leaving the garden until the entire plant is eaten. There are starving rabbits in Africa, don't you know?"

With Rambo on your side you will be successful in your gardening project.

WAT said...

Oh hey, glad to hear Rambo is taking up such an important role in that garden man! He sounds like a way cool dog.

WAT said...

My word verification to post my last comment was: pienes.

There's a joke in there somewhere...

Sebastien said...

Laura: Oooohhh, that sounds fun.

NoRegrets: I hope you having something evil in store for those bugs!

Tara: Those poor starving African rabbits... I wonder if Angelina will adopt them?

WAT: Soooo close on that word verification, haha... Rambo is awesome, great at hunting wabbits.

MrManuel said...

That sucks to grow something and then something com along and eat it. I hope Rambo catches him!

Gary said...

YOU ARE BACK!!!

I can't believe it. Damn, that if fantastic. Looks like I have some catching up to do.

Great news!!

Hope you have been well.

Sebastien said...

Manuel: Rambo has assembled a team and is going after the rogue terrorist rabbit!

Gary: Hi!!!!! So glad we are getting back in touch, looking forward to catching up as well :) Looks like you have been doing wonderful work with your kids

Zhu said...

I signed an agreement with rabbits, but I'm at war with squirrel. Damn squirrel, they really like my flowers!

Sebastien said...

Ah yes. The squirrel. There is more creature more terrible, tenacious, and treacherous.