Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Kim Kardashian, Federal Budgets, and Chocolate Policy


First off, look at this new photo of Kim Kardashian. Doesn't she look amazing! Very old school hairstyle, kind of looks French... part of a photo shoot to be published in O magazine, more info here.

I wish I could just talk about Kim, but, believe it or not, there are more important things to rant and rave about. Am I the only one that's worried about the federal budget, and the deficits we are putting up? I mean, I think at some point in time, we are going to get hit with the worst of both worlds (ie higher taxes and much lower social benefits)... it's like taking the worst part of the Republican and Democratic platforms: Give the government more money to do less! That's a lose lose in my book.

Supposedly there is a way out of this. Supposedly, if our economy grows at wonderful rates over a long period of time (maybe due to the discovery of new technologies and creation of wonderful super efficient businesses) we will massively boost our productivity, allowing for growth in government revenues and a reduction in debt, or at least stabilization. Some people would say another solution would be for the government to start acting responsibly, especially by showing fiscal responsibility. I wouldn't hold my breath, Republican or Democrat, they all stand to gain if the federal budget grows.

Hmmm... I have a different idea, and it doesn't hinge upon such a gamble (crazy economic growth or politicians' acting responsibly). If our debt keeps getting out of control, I say we focus all American manufacturing capacity towards making chocolate. We will offer chocolate to our creditors for the cancellation of debts and interest payments. If they refuse (and why the hell would they refuse chocolate!!!!), their second option is getting blown up by our nukes. It's a win win situation.

Not only that, but if we focus on chocolate production here in the US, and we become the chocolate kings of the world, we will be able to enter a golden age of chocolate diplomacy, where other countries will have to do what we want, because we have all the chocolate (I forgot to mention that this plan entails attacking all other chocolate producing countries of the world and stealing their production facilities, hence we will be the only producers of this all important commodity).

Vote for me and my chocolate diplomacy, it will help save us from our trillion dollar deficits, help us reestablish a manufacturing base in this country, will give us huge diplomatic clout, and also give us a great reason to use our military (remember? to attack all the other chocolate producing countries).

And we'll have lots of chocolate to eat as well!!!! Everybody wins.



(Full disclosure: My stock portfolio is 100% chocolate stocks)

10 comments:

Tara said...

"another solution would be for the government to start acting responsibly"

I think for them that would be the very last resort to act responsibly. I wouldn't hold my breath on that either.

But the chocolate thing - I'm all for that one. Chocolate or death.

laura b. said...

Kim clearly wants you, Sebastien. Go for it. Just don't forget her alliance with the playpus underground, okay?

As for your financial reform platform...well, you had me at "chocolate".

Zhu said...

Mmm... I'm French and don't look like her!

If you start the chocolate party, I may start a frozen chocolate party in Canada. Similar platform, just colder. We like it cold up there.

Sebastien said...

Tara: Chocolate or death! That is our slogan for the Chocolate Party!

Laura: Ohhhhhh, I forgot about that platypus connection. Having second thoughts about her now...

Zhu: Haha, I like it, we need to keep expanding the operations of the Chocolate party. South America will be the Hot Cocoa Party, and Belgium will have the Lindt Dark Chocolate Party.

Pamela said...

It's a great haircut, but you need the $100,000 a year stylist to keep it looking like that.

I'm actually Woman with No Regrets, in case you don't know who the heck I am.

sammy said...

i am VERY into this chocolate idea.
my hope is that your regime would also (by default) then make us the watch capital of the world and, essentially, the swiss.
(this has NO bearing on whether or not we actually make watches, of course)

WAT said...

Twix man. They better be Twix. Or Kit Kats.

Sebastien said...

Pamela: When you think about it, having such a stylist is probably worth it... but I'd rather spend my money on chocolate :)

Sammy: Yeah, we would probably be in charge of everything. Even watches. It's going to be great!

WAT: Oh yeah, Twix, that is one of the best!

MrManuel said...

I can totally get behind chocolate.

Sebastien said...

I think chocolate is a very solid platform to run on.