Chocofatness.

This drawing is certainly inspired by something. Probably Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. There's nothing quite so satisfying as ripping off another person's idea.

But believe it or not, the event in this drawing has happened to me before. Medical fact. Google it.

Anyways, there is a moral to this story: eat more chocolate.

You totally need to subscribe to my site. Seriously.

Kim Kardashian, Federal Budgets, and Chocolate Policy

First off, look at this new photo of Kim Kardashian. Doesn't she look amazing! Very old school hairstyle, kind of looks French... part of a photo shoot to be published in O magazine, more info here.

I wish I could just talk about Kim, but, believe it or not, there are more important things to rant and rave about. Am I the only one that's worried about the federal budget, and the deficits we are putting up? I mean, I think at some point in time, we are going to get hit with the worst of both worlds (ie higher taxes and much lower social benefits)... it's like taking the worst part of the Republican and Democratic platforms: Give the government more money to do less! That's a lose lose in my book.

Supposedly there is a way out of this. Supposedly, if our economy grows at wonderful rates over a long period of time (maybe due to the discovery of new technologies and creation of wonderful super efficient businesses) we will massively boost our productivity, allowing for growth in government revenues and a reduction in debt, or at least stabilization. Some people would say another solution would be for the government to start acting responsibly, especially by showing fiscal responsibility. I wouldn't hold my breath, Republican or Democrat, they all stand to gain if the federal budget grows.

Hmmm... I have a different idea, and it doesn't hinge upon such a gamble (crazy economic growth or politicians' acting responsibly). If our debt keeps getting out of control, I say we focus all American manufacturing capacity towards making chocolate. We will offer chocolate to our creditors for the cancellation of debts and interest payments. If they refuse (and why the hell would they refuse chocolate!!!!), their second option is getting blown up by our nukes. It's a win win situation.

Not only that, but if we focus on chocolate production here in the US, and we become the chocolate kings of the world, we will be able to enter a golden age of chocolate diplomacy, where other countries will have to do what we want, because we have all the chocolate (I forgot to mention that this plan entails attacking all other chocolate producing countries of the world and stealing their production facilities, hence we will be the only producers of this all important commodity).

Vote for me and my chocolate diplomacy, it will help save us from our trillion dollar deficits, help us reestablish a manufacturing base in this country, will give us huge diplomatic clout, and also give us a great reason to use our military (remember? to attack all the other chocolate producing countries).

And we'll have lots of chocolate to eat as well!!!! Everybody wins.



(Full disclosure: My stock portfolio is 100% chocolate stocks)

Will the US Invade Another Oil Rich Country?

Hopefully not. Instead of attacking countries with oil, I think the US should attack countries that have lots of chocolate. But hey, that's just my opinion, what's yours?

Should the US attack countries for their choclate?
	Yes, US citizens need more chocolate, not more oil.
	No, US citizens are fat enough as it is.
	Just keep attacking countries with oil, ok.
	What's chocolate?
	What's oil?
pollcode.com free polls

Valentine's Day.

Mmmmm, miam, miam... Oh, sorry. I was just chewing on some of these cables that are plugged into the wall. Super tasty. I got a weird buzz from them. Cooooool.

Hope you are all having a happy Valentine's Day! Eat lots of chocolate. Whether you are single or with someone, just enjoy the chocolates. That's what the holiday is about. It's what every holiday should be about. Unfortunately the holiday nazis have decided that we can't turn every holiday into chocolate eating happy day. Whatever, every holiday, hell, every day, should be a chocolate eating happy day.

Do I have anything serious to say? Of course not.

The telephone tried to eat me. It smokes my opium and turns into crazy phone monster... Must. keep. calm. Don't you hate people or objects that do that, they partake in your personal stash of drugs and turn into some crazy loon... At least repay me by being funny, stupid crazy phone...

And yes, I know I need to call people. But phone, you are such a crazy bastard I'm scared of sticking my face near you...