SCORPION IN MY ROOM! AHHHHHHHHH!

Setting: Nightime. My bedroom. My dad is in my chair, I'm lying down on the floor (it's comfortable ok!!!), we are having a conversation about how much we want a dog.

Well, out of nowhere this scorpion appears. My dad noticed it right next to his foot, which wasn't far from where I was lying down. My dad jumps up and goes into crazy kill mode, while I'm still lying down just thinking he saw a cricket or something. Wham, bam, with a couple of righteous, put the fear of God into you smacks of my sketchbook (thanks pops!) my dad has killed the scorpion.

Did I say I loved all animals in my last post? Uhhhh, you can 'x' that out, because I most certainly don't love scorpions. After the snake incident just outside my room, it's wonderful luck that we now find a scorpion in my room, which also leads to this logical conclusion: If there's one scorpion in my room there's probably more...

Hmmm, I have a feeling sleep will be a bit more difficult tonight. Please, wish me luck, so that I may make it through the perilous night intact. Godamn it, there's also those monsters in the closet!!! I can handle them, but when there's scorpions too, well... I guess I got my hands full, to say the least.

Look, I know you find me sexy Mr. Scorpion, and that is why you are in my room at this time of night, but I will most certainly not make out with you!

On TV: Celeb Beefs vs. Airplane Tragedy

Lindsay Lohan!!!!! vs. Airplane Crash

Lately I've been cultivating various things to fear because not only am I really bored, but it's kind of an entertaining way to occupy myself, although it could be considered slightly morbid and twisted. Whatever...

Of course I talked about Chernobyl in my previous posts. Well, last night I started getting my terrible headaches, and the only thing that really occupies me during those episodes is a good dosage of tv. So lo and behold I find myself alternating between two channels, VH1's Celebrity Beefs and the Discovery Channel's recounting of TWA's Flight 800 crash. Did I have to temper the tragedy of the airplane crash with a good dose of celebrity craziness? I don't know, but probably so.

Anyways, I learned a lot last night. I don't really want to fly anymore, although if I was logical, I really wouldn't want to drive anymore.

Secondly, I learned that celebrity beefs are just plain awesome. They make no sense and are pretty random, I guess celebrity beefs are a symptom of our post-modern age in which the crazier and more ridiculous things are, well the better off we all are because that IS true entertainment. By the way, GO LINDSAY LOHAN! You would totally kick Hillary Duff's ass.

I am going to SEND a major message, I will only consume the craziest, most nonsensical kinds of media, especially with what I watch on tv, because the crazier things are on tv, maybe fewer people will actually be influenced by what programs show and say. I'm stopping to think about that last thought, and realize that is some serious optimism on my part. Sorry, this whole paragraph was really condescending.

PS. Thank you tv. My consumption of your shows has allowed me to expand my fear in nearly all facets of my life. I consider my tv viewing last night to have been the cornerstone of a productive and successful evening.

Things I'm fearing at the moment:
1. Getting eaten by a shark
2. Getting eaten by a crocodile(by the way, I've had a discussion with somebody that couldn't be resolved, which would be worse, fear #1. occuring or fear #2?)
3. Terrorists
4. Serial killers, specially the sniper variety
5. Nuclear explosion
6. Disease
7. Flying