Monday, February 19, 2007

Talk About the Worst Book You've Ever Read...

Today is book bashing day. Not quite the same as the most marvelous of all holidays we all look forward to (that would be book burning day of course). Book bashing day is quite fun even though we don't get to burn nefarious literature. But I have a feeling you are wondering what my favorite book to burn is, so to preempt your question I'll answer right here: nothing, and I mean nothing, beats the joy I feel when I get to burn a copy of the book Fahrenheit 451, it's a wickedly sinful novel written by Ray Bradbury. Burning that book never gets old. It's also Dick Cheney's favorite book to burn. What can you say, Cheney is just awesome like that. (just joking by the way, I love Ray Bradbury, although, I really do love Dick Cheney too, the permanent lip snarl thing he's got going is way sexy)

Anyways. Let's talk about bad books. I'm reading a bad book right now, and while it's not the most horrible of the horrible, I'm finding it to be really annoying and boring. The title is Beatrix and it's written by Balzac. I've been liking a lot of this author's other books, so I wasn't expecting this one to suck so bad... I don't even have the heart to tell you the story, but basically it's a silly love story that's so ridiculously boring you'd barf your brains out...

Other books... Well, I remember reading Moby Dick in highschool, and that was the biggest pain in the ass book. EVER. There were chapters and chapters all about the whale, whale characteristics, whale facts, it was constant, the whale this, the whale that... you know what, screw the whale, I don't give a damn. Please, just stop bashing me over the head with whale facts. Can we get on with the plot and forget about whale anatomy... Seriously, I used to love whales, but now I shudder when I see a whale drawing or picture or hear someone talking about whales all because of that stupid book... Maybe I'd like Melville's book more now, maybe I'd understand the depth of the novel a bit better, but I don't really care, I don't want to punish myself with that book again. Once is enough. Although I do like some of Melville's other stuff...

So what books do you hate? Or just dislike or find ridiculous?

15 comments:

Tara said...

I've been fortunate to read lots of great stories, so it's challenging to think of one I had to struggle to get through. I remember reading "Great Expectations" and not being too in love with it. The story wasn't totally awful, but I definitely wouldn't read it again.

Heatherness. said...

I have been racking my brain for ideas on books that I found to be terrible....and I have to say that I think I either blocked them from my memory or I found them too bad to bother finishing. I read A LOT of books and they all can't be great. Good question!
I will however, state for the record, that anything with "Sweet Valley High" in the title was probably not the best literary choice I ever made...even if I was only 10.

mist1 said...

I hated those Rich Dad, Poor Dad books. He should stick to motivational speaking and never ever write a word again.

taarzaan said...

Anything by Ayn Rand, most Robert A Heinlein--those make me regret learning to read.

Babybull40 said...

Ya know I can't think of anythng I read that was really bad.it's been so long since I even picked up a book to read (not including ones for TCP) If I think of one I will let ya know..

fringes said...

It was some Old English book written by some dead white guy that we were forced to read in high school. Ick. It was horrendous.

jos said...

the worst book for me would probably be sophie's world. my sister read it a few years back and i thought i'd give it a try. i read a few pages, fell asleep, try to read a few more, couldnt stand it and left it there and then. i still dont know what happened in the end and i dont really care cause that story is just too plain boring for my taste. all the talk about philosophy makes my head hurt...

taarzaan said...

And Dune. Those books were like watching paint dry.

Sebastien said...

Tara: Awwww, I love Great Expectations... Glad you could think of a book though!

Heatherness: Oh come on, "Sweet Valley High" books are totally awesome, you're just too embarrassed to admit it!

Mist1: Hmmm, never read those, I'm curious...

Taarzaan: Ayn Rand, but she's such a sweet kindly writer with a great love for all of mankind! Haha, what a beyotch! Heinlein, I read one of his books when I was a kid, something like HAve Spacesuit, Will Travel...

Babybull: Cool, thanks, always good to think of things we hate. I don't know why.

Fringes: Hahahaha! Love that, was it Moby Dick by any chance!!??

Jos: Oh brother, that book was a nightmare. Not a fan, not one bit of a fan of that one.

Taarzaan: You know, I liked it at the time I read it, years and years ago, but looking back, I don't think it was very well written.

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

One book that sticks in my mind is Douglas Coupland's "Girlfriend in a Coma". I read a few other books by Coupland prior and I loved them but after reading "Girlfriend in a Coma" I just haven't been able to read any of his other books that I KNOW are a lot better...but he's been ruined for me.

MrManuel said...

Weird, nothing comes to mind as horrible. I actually liked Moby Dick. Maybe I just block out the bad ones. Well, no I did read a really bad book in college called Women on the Edge of Time. Weird-ass crappy book.

WAT said...

Not a book, but a miserable bore of a short story by William Faulkner called: THE BEAR.

Sebastien said...

Silver: I read one of his books, long time ago. I think I will avoid that one!

Mrmanuel: Yeah, lots of people love Moby Dick! Haha, never heard of that other book...

WAT: Oh, I like Faulkner, at least what I've read. The Bear, don't know that one though, since it's a short story maybe I'll read it to see what I think.

Anastasia said...

I'm not usually a book basher, but I do have a couple that make me want to gnash my teeth.

1. The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie, because the opening chapters are too confusing, and ...well they're crap. I believe if the first three chapters of this story were submitted to a publisher by a 'new writer', let's say, they would have been rejected, but because Rushdie had a name, plus the controversial elements within the book, it received a lot of attention - for nothing. I've had this book for fifteen or so years, bought it just as the fuss hit the media (when he was issued a Fatwah),and I've never been able to move beyond the opening.

2. Loaded by Christos Tsiolkas, this became the film Head On, about a young lad's homosexuality, and how it impacted his family, the movie is actually better than the book. The prose is difficult to read, and really dry, almost lacking emotion or too harsh, I'm undecided, but I abandoned it in the third last chapter, because it felt like it was heading (no pun intended) nowhere, and it's a really short novel, like a novella really.

Sebastien said...

Oh, thanks Anastasia for the heads up on the Rushdie. I've read one of his books, Midnight's Children, I liked it, but I haven't gotten around to his other stuff.

Haven't heard of the second writer, but it sounds frustrating. Dry writing and lack of emotion are two things I really don't like either (who does!), even if the point of the book is to have a lack of emotion, I still have a hard time with it.