Monday, January 15, 2007
Ban the Letter X. Search the Letter T.
Saudi Arabia is planning on banning the letter 'X'.
Here's what I have to say:
If I had to choose a letter that has caused me more problems than any other, without a doubt it would be the letter X. It has lowered my quality of life by a measurable 10%. Think about it, if each letter was this destructive, we'd have like a minus 3,000000000000000000000000000% quality of life, and that's not very good. It'd be like living in a cave under the ocean with no light and meager amounts of food... I wonder what kind of GDP we'd manage in such an environment, I doubt we could afford decent infrastructure... Wow, there would be serious challenges to overcome.
The problem with tackling the issue of evil letters and their destructiveness, and particularly the destructiveness of the letter X, is that few among us are gifted with heightened sensibilities in the area of evil letter recognition. I'm blessed though, the letters of the alphabet reveal their secrets and their qualities to me, I'm like, what do you call it, a witch doctor? How bout a letter doctor? How bout super duper awesome!
Hey, guess what? Even Marvin the Squirrel is enthused about the Saudi's impending decision to nix the letter X. Wait a sec, Marvin is saying something to me... He's saying he thought it was funny that someone had google searched the letter T and miraculously arrived at my blog. What! Come on Marvin, this has nothing to do with anything! It's not worth mentioning, but Marvin keeps telling me how funny and weird this search is and how I should talk about it. He's so pushy.
First off, Marvin says I should be thankful that this google searcher hadn't searched the letter X and arrived at my blog. He says that if that had been the case, my blog would have to be considered evil, and in turn, I, the writer of this blog, would be supremely evil. Not necessarily a bad thing mind you, but it's also good not being supremely evil. I think being mildly evil is better, it's more low key and sneaky.
Back to Marvin. See, the thing that is really bothering Marvin is that he can't figure out why someone would search for the letter T, unless they accidently hit the t letter on the keyboard and then accidently pressed enter. But then why would they click on any of the links that appeared if this wasn't their intended search... Marvin is baffled. Frankly I could care less...