Monday, January 15, 2007

Ban the Letter X. Search the Letter T.


Saudi Arabia is planning on banning the letter 'X'.

Here's what I have to say:

'Great!'


If I had to choose a letter that has caused me more problems than any other, without a doubt it would be the letter X. It has lowered my quality of life by a measurable 10%. Think about it, if each letter was this destructive, we'd have like a minus 3,000000000000000000000000000% quality of life, and that's not very good. It'd be like living in a cave under the ocean with no light and meager amounts of food... I wonder what kind of GDP we'd manage in such an environment, I doubt we could afford decent infrastructure... Wow, there would be serious challenges to overcome.

The problem with tackling the issue of evil letters and their destructiveness, and particularly the destructiveness of the letter X, is that few among us are gifted with heightened sensibilities in the area of evil letter recognition. I'm blessed though, the letters of the alphabet reveal their secrets and their qualities to me, I'm like, what do you call it, a witch doctor? How bout a letter doctor? How bout super duper awesome!

Hey, guess what? Even Marvin the Squirrel is enthused about the Saudi's impending decision to nix the letter X. Wait a sec, Marvin is saying something to me... He's saying he thought it was funny that someone had google searched the letter T and miraculously arrived at my blog. What! Come on Marvin, this has nothing to do with anything! It's not worth mentioning, but Marvin keeps telling me how funny and weird this search is and how I should talk about it. He's so pushy.

First off, Marvin says I should be thankful that this google searcher hadn't searched the letter X and arrived at my blog. He says that if that had been the case, my blog would have to be considered evil, and in turn, I, the writer of this blog, would be supremely evil. Not necessarily a bad thing mind you, but it's also good not being supremely evil. I think being mildly evil is better, it's more low key and sneaky.

Back to Marvin. See, the thing that is really bothering Marvin is that he can't figure out why someone would search for the letter T, unless they accidently hit the t letter on the keyboard and then accidently pressed enter. But then why would they click on any of the links that appeared if this wasn't their intended search... Marvin is baffled. Frankly I could care less...

24 comments:

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

Now, I've had some strange searches come to my site...but the letter "T"? Hm, strange. May I ask why your blog showed up on that search? "X" is evil though, no doubt about it. No good comes out of the letter "X" with the exception of perhaps an xylophone...but really, who plays them anymore?

By the way, I'm STILL trying to finish "Anna Karenina" and so I haven't made it to the library because I'm stubborn. I WILL finish it before I find something else to read.

Mariana said...

Maybe you've blogged about Mr. T? Sometimes you can do a search and feel intrigued by a link that is not what you were looking for originally.

Bice said...

I kinda see you as a letter whisperer.

omninaïf said...

X is an abbreviation for Christ, as in Xmas (Christmas), X(t)ian (Christian), and Xianity (Christianity), due to its Greek name.

So...who's evil now?

;)

WAT said...

Y do they care about the letter X? Isn't that a Roman letter anyway? Don't they use the Arabic alphabet/ script over there?

Marvin the Squirrel?! Pass over the pot dude. I want some of what you're having.

Faz the Cat said...

Thought you might like to know that I have left a pack of Marlborough out for the squirrels but so far no takers. Is there a special brand Marvin likes that I could get them to try? Maybe the roll their own? FAZ

Tara said...

There's a letter "x" in my last name. It has always given me problems, because when I spell my name to people, they think I'm saying "s" instead of "x" so I have to really over pronounce it to them by saying, "EXss". I never thought there was another reason for the "x" being left out of my name other than people hearing it wrong. Now I'll have to rethink the whole thing.

JM said...

I could get behind banning the letter "Q" instead. It's always screwing me up when I have to do that silly "word verification" on blogger because they use a funky font and you can't really be sure what the heck it is!

Babybull40 said...

The letter "X" is really a difficult letter.. Not alot of words with X in it.. but I would go for the letter V and Q to be banned.. then again if they start banning all these other letters.. we would be talking with a weird lisp... or someother foreign language that is yet to be discovered..

Sebastien said...

Silver: Ah yes, Anna Karenina, that is a long book... Xylophones, those things rocked, forgot about that, fun instrument.

Mariana: Mr T! Shoot, forgot about him, this could make sense.

Bice: Me too, I guess it's my hidden talent.

Omninaif: Crap, i'm totally evil now...

WAT: Haha, Marvin only appears naturally, he is a non-drug induced hallucination... Cool no?

Faz: Camel reds, the squirrels love those... Hmmm, they might roll their own too, not sure on that...

Tara: It all makes sense now, the letter X is the source of all evil.

JM: I finally did away with the word verification, it's true, you really can't read those letters.

Babybull: I think we should have like 5 letters in the alphabet, all vowels.

taarzaan said...

How will the illiterate sign their names now, hmmmm? Didn't think about that part, did they? How will bills ever get passed into law, without signatures? You see, it all rolls downhil rapidly--unlike a spike "X"--it's the anchor of letters. "X" rox.

Babs said...

What would become of the X-Files? Would they be the Y-Files? And you can't have fox without the x. No, no, no... cannot ban the letter x. Oh wait, if we could ban fox news, that'd be ok.
I had a google search for "ho" not to long ago. The thing that amazed me on that search is my blog must have been way down the list. I tried several pages and didn't see my blog. They must have been really wanting to find a "ho".

Tell Marvin I said, "wasup".

MrManuel said...

Those crazy kids over there in Saudi!

Fringes said...

Hey...the Suns at the Rockets tonight, 8:30 EST. See you there!

Brian said...

Interesting. You should read a book by Mark Dunn called ELLA MINNOW PEA. It's a book told in correspondence on an island that is systematically forbidding the use of the letters of the alphabet. As you progress through the book, it gets harder for the island's residents to communicate because they're running out of words that use the forbidden letters. Very clever.

Sonja said...

I agree with jm. The letter q insists on having a companion u at all times. It is a very vain and insecure letter and should be taught a lesson.

Mariana said...

Check out this artist, Sebastien!

http://www.galerie-boulet.com/fr/List_SerieLimite.lasso?-token.langue=fr&ID_Artiste=ALEM

Awesome! His art is subtly surreal.

Sebastien said...

Taarzaan: You make some good points that are difficult to refute. I will now go on google and try and search for some readymade rebuttals...

Babs: Marvin says "Meow meow meow." He's impersonating a cat. X-files, never seen it, yeah, we could all do without fox, but O'Reilly, come on, that guy's a hoot!

Mrmanuel: They know how to have a good time!

Fringes: Alas, another victory for the Suns... but your team played well without their big guns!

Brian: Hi Brian! Never heard of the book or the writer but that sounds fascinating. Interesting to see how a story like that evolves...

Sonja: Q is a big fat wuss, you both make a very good point, that letter is sooo insecure it's not even funny.

Mariana: Thank you! Love that artist!!!

Babs said...

Of course I'll watch football this weekend. NASCAR season hasn't started.
NASCAR 1st, NFL 2nd, man-hunks 3rd. I've got my priorities in line. And as a bonus, there are many man-hunks in 1 and 2.

People in the Sun said...

Anyone saw the movie "Z"? As part of the rise of the dictatorship random things are banned, including the letter Z. Good movie, by the way.

Maybe you'll get searches for Z now?

Battlerocker said...

That's a pretty weird search. Why on Earth are they banning the letter X? Oh well. It's nice to know that a fundamental search of the language will lead people to you. That's a good page rank!

Shaymus O'flatulence's Blog said...

Queeslands most popular beer is called Four x

XXXX......we always used to say when I was a west australian that that was because Queenslanders couldn't spell Beer......
Now I just tell those Stupid west australians to shut up and have a bath....everyone knows the bastards dont wash.....

MrManuel said...

No posts all week. You feeling ok?

Sebastien said...

Babs: HAha, you are funny! I can't wait for the football this weekend! Go COLTS!!!!

People in the Sun: Haven't seen it, I've heard of it though. Cool, I gotta see this flick, right up my alley!

Battlerocker: Haha, good point, I never thought of that!

Shaymus: Ahh, I didn't realize there were such regional rivalries in Australia, but then again, most countries have those sorts of rivalries... They don't wash!!!??? Hmmm, reminds me of a certain country...

Mrmanuel: Hey Maneul! Thanks for checking on me, just been having a tough time with a cold that has nailed me pretty bad and keeps on dragging.