Monday, January 22, 2007

Google Searches

Sadly, I have neglected the topic of google searches that lead to this blog. The wait ends now, I will create a journal entry out of some of the google searches that have led to my blog. The google searches are in italics AND bold...

Sebastien's Journal Entry
I saw a Simpsons' episode where they reenact 'The Shining.' Seeing that episode made me wonder if there is an episode where Spongebob does the Shining. I check Nickolodeon for Spongebob, but something else is on, a show on cats, I am displeased to say the least, if I want to see cats I might as well go waste my time on cats are cool!.com.

I change channels and see that a Duckbill Platypus movie is playing on cinemax. It is overly violent for my taste. Turning off the tv, I grab a book filled with pictures of daffy duck playing basketball, and can't help wondering if there is any way Daffy could beat the great white sharks basketball team. The sharks are an imposing team, what with their uniform that consists of dead taxidermied snakes, and their chant of "i lost my eye." The uniform and chant always strikes fear in the heart of opponents. Why, just the other day the sharks were about to play a b-ball game when their cowering opponents realized victory against these demonic sharks was impossible. In their fear the opponents yelled out,"Invisible things keep biting me!" They were quickly whisked away to the mental hospital, and in doing so ingeniously avoided a basketball match against the frightening sharks.

Meanwhile, the sharks were now left with free time on their hands. They decided to do a round table discussion on the literary merits of writers like Andre Gide and Edgar Allan Poe Sebastien. It was riveting and made for great television.

I forgot to tell you guys, it has recently been discovered that Poe had changed his name and added Sebastien to the end, it turns out Sebastien was his great inspiration and muse. Who knew? I have to admit, I'm the one who taught Poe how to paint bird feathers, and I also remember the time Poe asked me, what is journal entry? Yeah, I taught Poe everything he learned, even grammar skills...

Now, I'm sure many of you esteem Edgar Allan Poe, but truth be told, he was kind of annoying. For instance, he always whiningly asked me if he could borrow my laptop just so he could watch what he euphemistically referred to as 'videos chistosos de sexo.' I even saw him use my computer to google search things like 'fascist kitties' and 'real scary shit.' Let's just say Poe owes much to the internet for helping him find fantastic ideas. For example, you know that story of his, 'The Black Cat'? Well, Poe found all his material for that story by google searching 'felins not eating,' 'cruel thinking in the mind. How to overcome,' 'Edgar Allan Poe psychological aspects,' and 'pyschotic visions.' That's it, that's how the man created his stories!

Poe's final short story was called, 'I'm Still Thinking About You in French,' and as Poe tried to explain to me, the story was mainly about cool things on Allen Iverson. Let's just say I had to heavily edit that one, turning it from a simple laudatory story on the merits of Allen Iverson into a chilling tale of horror and suspense. The reworked story involves a scorpion painting, where the creature from the painting comes to life to haunt the main character. The drama involves the main character losing his glasses, and now, unable to see this terrible scorpion, he yells out with terror, "IM NEARLY BLIND WITHOUT MY GLASSES!" But don't worry, the story ends well, the scorpion died before he hurt anyone.

13 comments:

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

You have some interesting searches, to say the least.

taarzaan said...

I welcome you to join my quest for conquest through puppetry. Muah-ha-ha!!! Puppet regime, anyone?

Battlerocker said...

I got one today that was "Indian boobs."

No idea.

Mariana said...

You should not deprive mankind of Poe's original works, unadulterated and unabridged!

Babs said...

My favorite recent google search on my blog was "uhhhhhhhh". Brilliant!
Did ya'll get snow? I read it on the news.

Sebastien said...

Silverneurotic: Yeah, and writing a post like this only encourages more of em! haha...

Taarzaan: Puppet regimes are the greatest!

Battlerocker: That's a beaut! I love the one's that are completely absurd and for which you can't come up with an explainable reason. Most of mine make sense, what with all the transmorgification I do...

Mariana: I know, I will dig out his original unadulterated stuff, it's around here somewhere!

Babs: Haha! Yeah, well, we got hail, close enough!

JP said...

I blogged about Jimi Hendrix merchandising, and mentioned seeing Hendrix car air fresheners and wondering what they smelled like. Then I also commented on what Bob Marley ones might smell like.

About a month later, checking traffic stats, I found a visit using Google search terms "Bob Marley air fresheners". I had to get outside for some fresh air after that one!

MrManuel said...

There is nothing more fun than google searches. I've been meaning to do that lately too. Guess I will put it off for now since you just did them.

Babybull40 said...

Google is not allowed anywhere near our main computer.. but I sneak it on my laptop.. because I can.. and if you type in your name you shall find your blog.. googlely away....ha ha

Hedy De Vine said...

that's a brilliant way to share your google searches! you are sooo creative, sebastien.

Sebastien said...

JP: Haha, people search the craziest stuff, I mean, what would the internet be without crazy random searches!

Mrmanuel: Oh come on, you should do it anyways! Stuff is a riot!

Babybull: Google is quite powerful, it's scary, hmmm, I need to google myself.

Hedy: Haha thanks Hedy, although I saw someone else do this so unfortunately I'm not as creative as I'd like you to think I am :( But I don't the other person did all the animals doing crazy stuff, I guess it's my niche!

Bice said...

Good job. These are always fun.

I had one yesterday, "gay pentecostal preachers" that is begging for me to do something with it.

Sebastien said...

Oh boy! That's gotta get used!!!