Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Cool Artwork: Jan Van Eyck's Ghent Altarpiece


I know what you're thinking. You think I'm displaying this image so I can turn you into a devout Catholic. If that is what you suspect, well, let me tell you that you are correct. You guys are all hedonists, anarchists, sadists, duckbill platypusists, communists, somnabulists, populists, capitalists, existentialists, and all sorts of other ists. To counteract all these evil ists I'm showing you this painting in an effort to change your ways and guide you to the correct ism.

Besides telling you about the awesomeness of the Catholic religion, I'm here to tell you about the painting pictured above. It's marvelous. Why? It's so freakin' detailed. I guess that's a reason. And it's totally surreal. The bottom middle part is ridiculously weird in its perspective which gives the image a surreal quality. Plus it's got all these super detailed plants and beautifully painted people and a lamb that's gonna get slaughtered. And the clothes are painted super nicely too. I'm a big fan of clothes, specially nicely painted clothes. Bravo. I guess that's it. Well, I could give you a more serious answer but you'd probably want to shoot me in the head.

In case you don't know me well and didn't realize I was joking, let me declare my respect for many of the different ists out there. Be sure to choose your ist wisely, defining yourself by the group or subset you belong to is the key to modern day happiness and also the path to ultimate victory (I don't know what victory entails, I just thought I should say that).

PS. Individualism is so 19th/20th century. To make things easier on ourselves we need to move past the cult of the individual and start redefining ourselves in terms of what television programs or channels we watch. All the other ists and isms are way too confusing anyways. So we'll boil it down to tv... You could be a Simpsonist, or a Spongebobist, or a Stewartist, or an Iron Chefist. Or a Foxist, or a Cartoon Networkist. Obviously it goes on and on. As you can see I've got solutions for everything, just like MacGyver...

12 comments:

Lauren Brazeal said...

I'm glad you like clothes. Clothes are good. Especially when one leaves the house.

Lauren Brazeal said...

I'm glad you like clothes. Clothes are good. Especially when one leaves the house.

MrManuel said...

I'm a soccerist.

Nikki Neurotic said...

I'm a Gilmomist!

Nah, I love that painting...I think one of the best things about the Catholic Church is the art work. The services might be boring and terribly dated but the artwork makes up for it, you could just stare at the paintings, tapestries, glass windows, etc all day long and never run out of things to look at.

M said...

All this just to slaughter a lamb? These people take their meat eating seriously! Where's the restaurant and how do I get there? Seriously, this is beautiful. All my heart goes to the lady in the painting who is reading the green book.

mist1 said...

I have always wanted to be an ist, but they are so demanding. I change my mind too frequently to subscribe to one ism. Still, I want to feel like part of the club.

Anonymous said...

I'm a House-ist and a Dexterist. Wow both of these characters are rather deranged. What does that say about me?

Mrs. Hairy Woman said...

I'm A nothingist... well grew up Anglicanist.. but you can't convert me.. he he he.. love the painting...you can't make me.. noooooooo.. never.... lol....interesting post as always Sebastien...

Cassandra said...

I'm going to burn in Wal-mart!!!

I can comment on your blog again. Life is groovy.

Anonymous said...

Seb, I have a confession to make. I'm an Iron Chefist. I'm became addicted to watching the Japanese version (even though I also loved the US Version and US Hellene chick Cat Cora - you go girl! - our channel here reverted to the Japanese version now),and developed an unhealthy fascination with Takeshi Kaga.

I haven't seen this painting before, it's beautiful. The only van Eyck's I remember are the one's we'd study in art class in my senior years at high school, like Arnolfini & his Wife (that I found eerie at seventeen). I've always loved the way artists have interpreted religion (even if they caused controversy), as they've produced imagery that a photographer can never capture, that'll remain (as long as restoration techniques exist and the world doesn't end) for centuries to come.

Trey said...

Metalocalypsist. And Cute Over Loadist. And Gatochy's Blogist. The list goes on. I'm a whore.

Sebastien Millon said...

Lauren: Clothes are good. I'm glad we all know this now and can feel confident in talking to others about our feelings on clothes.

Mrmanuel: And I'm a basketballist and a Spongebobist and a Foster's Home for Imaginary Friendsist.

Silver: Cool! If there's one wonderful thing the Catholic church has done through the ages, its provide artists with lots of commissions!

Mariana: Yum, I love lambchops...

Mist1: Just choose a random show and you will feel all warm and secure inside!

Sonja: Haha, Dexter's Labrotary right, I've seen it a couple times, very cool. Haven't seen House though...

Babybull: Thanks! A nothingist, nooooooo, you can't be a nothingist, that's cheating.

Babs: Burn Walmart? Burn Walmart? But, but, shouldn't we burn other stuff too then...

Anastasia: Iron Chefist? Cool by me, although I must admit I've never seen the show. Oh yeah, the Arnolfini wedding portrait is awesome, the chandelier and the mirror in the back with the artist's reflection, love that. And the doggy too. He's cool.

Taarzaan: Being a whore is awesome!