I used to hang out with this little kid, and he would drive us around in this egg-shaped car that had helicopter wings on top. I usually had to drink a lot of liquor, because my little kid friend was not a very good driver. The alcohol helped me deal with my terrible fear of dying in a fiery car accident. Of course we ended up having accidents, but I was fortunate, I had the constitution of a bear, so when we did end up in those wrecks, I didn't suffer too badly. A little scratch here, a little scratch there. And my little driving companion didn't ever get hurt either, thank the good lord.
I will rehash other memories in the coming months on this blog... I had a period of time where I was a bear priest in Southern Mexico. Also went through a period where I made my living as a bear wrestler (I mean I was a bear that wrestled, not someone who wrestled bears, at least I didn't consistently wrestle other bears. I did fight against psychotic steroid popping gophers, transexual myopic raccoons ridden with rabies, and 3-legged 1-eyed crocodiles who had leather fetishes. I digress. But I do have to mention, not without some pride, that I won all those fights.).
This wrestling faze, like my career as a bear priest, took place in Mexico. I actually have quite a few wonderful memories from my time in Mexico.
8 comments:
oh I like this one!
Thanks Frenchy!!
As a bear priest, did you experience any bear weddings that got out of hand?
The irony is that transsexual myopic raccoons usually keep to themselves. But once they have the virus in them, only death will stop them. Or a nice sandwich.
I have a bit of bear history myself! However, I haven't done any international travel.
Anyway, your friend in that picture looks like quite the wild card. All that booze would have made you relaxed. In the event of a collision, you are much better off relaxed. Good call!
@Tara: Have you ever seen a bear on LSD? I have. Words can't describe it!
@People in the Sun: Hey buddy! This is so true, those poor transsexual myopic raccoons are just trying to lead and a normal life, and wham, they get rabies and everything goes haywire :(
Laura: The only problem with being a bear is that I weigh about a thousand pounds, so it takes quite a bit of liquor to take the edge off. Occassionaly I have to ask my little friend to shoot me with a tranquilizer gun, not enough to knock me out, but to relax me. It's sort of ironic.
I like your drawings. And the post were you wanted toast. :)
Ohingrid, thanks so much for the kind words! Speaking of toast, I think I will have some now, mmmmm....
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