Actual Footage of the Dastardly Duckbill Platypus And A Couple More Words on the Duckbill Platypus Threat (Can You Tell I'm Bored?)

I watched too much football yesterday. My mind is full of garbled football lexicon. Cover 2, nickel this, dime that, stop the run, flattened like a pancake, out route, draw play, slot back, bootleg...

Football hangover isn't the only thing scrambling my brain today. The evilness of the duckbill platypus is still haunting my thoughts, slowly pushing me over the precipice to insanity.

Take a look at the video I posted at the end, the duckbill platypus looks so innocent and cute, but behind that fluffy little exterior lurks the soul of a sadistic killer, the mind of a madman, the chaotic yet crackerjack thinking of one seriously deranged power hungry beast.

If I feel well enough later, I will enlighten you with my story on the secret deal between George Bush and the duckbill platypuses, and how this deal has compromised our national security. This sad and frightening story of greed, deceit, and corruption stretches back to the Carter administration, and involves a slew of high powered politicians, fat cat (cue meow mix song) businessmen, tyrannical dictators, usurious bankers, fiendish used car salesmen, trigger happy KGB, CIA, NSA, FBI types, terrorists, arms dealers, the porno industry, the people who make Hello Kitty products, not to mention many murderous mafioso types.

The threat of the duckbill platypus is known by few, yet it hangs over the head of humans as a collective, looming like the sword of Damocles...

Please note, this video is not suitable for children.

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

This entry concerns my concerns on the evil machinations of the duckbill platypus. I've been very puzzled on the subject of this creature. It keeps me up late at night, I thrash and turn in my bed, beads of sweat roll down my trembling forehead as I agonize over this painfully difficult conundrum. Sleep will continue to elude me so long as I do not have a concrete understanding of the duckbill platypus and its motives.

I can't quite figure out whether the duckbill platypus is the most ingenious creature ever, with an intellect so strong as to be on par with Einstein's. Or, is this creature not perhaps the most amazingly hilarious, dreadfully dolefully dim-witted living thing on God's green (uh, probably not so green anymore) earth, and has it duped us into believing it is the greatest thing ever?

Some experts even say this creature is planning to take over the world! These people believe the duckbill platypus wants to usurp our position and grab the reins to power, and create a worldwide duckbill platypus hegemony!

Do you believe the duckbill platypus to be as magnificently malevolently marvelous yet damningly devious as some say, or do you believe it is a ruse, meant to trick us and manipulate our innocent psyches?

If this post made any sense to you, I worry about your sanity, as for my own sanity, not a shred of it is left. Well, I need to go find that 'To Fear' list of mine, I gotta add the duckbill platypus.

P.S. I will be presenting more evidence on the evilness of duckbill platypuses in the days to follow.