Pictured above is a firefox, never would I mean for this kind and cute and cuddly little creature to be harmed (I love this creature, I have posted about it before because it is so awesome). Firefox the browser, on the other hand, should be severely beaten. For some reason Firefox automatically uploaded the latest version of Firefox and totally wiped out all my bookmarks. Normally I wouldn't care, hell, I've never cared about bookmarks or anything computer related before in my life, except now that I've started reading blogs. The only way I keep track of blogs is by bookmarking them. Plus all the cool art and art sites I've found, I had all those bookmarked too. Oh well, I think I have the fortitude of spirit to overcome this tragedy... but probably just barely.
Quick and Easy Way to Get on My Bad Side: Tell Me I'm Faking My Illness
There aren't too many things that anger me. Really, I'm actually a pretty laid back kinda person. There is one thing that really angers me though, and it happened the other day, multiple times. This incident usually angers me so much I sink into silence and the only sound I can muster is a short, lackadaisical, uneasy sort of laugh. This of course, is my standard response to anyone who makes a joke of me looking good, haha, I look so good I'm probably faking my illness, haha... Shit, you think that's funny? My mouth might be smiling because it's all I can do to restrain the logical reaction, which the crazy look in my eye probably hints at...Seriously, I can't understand how making a joke of me faking my illness would be funny. That joke really hurts me, my illness is for real, I have the bloodwork to prove it, doctors to prove it... I guess it's just so demeaning, and really disrespectful, even if it is a joke... I mean, it feels like it negates all the bullshit I've gone through, all the pain and fatigue, sort of like calling me a bullshitter and a lazy bastard all in one. I wish I wasn't so sensitive about it, but I'm already frustrated by my circumstances, and people making jokes like that is like grabbing the knife that was already in me and twisting it just so. I really can't wait to be completely better, so that I don't have to hear jokes like that. People can be such assholes to people who are sick, and I try not to let it bother me too much, but it's easy to say that, hell, it does bother me, any way you slice it.
Yet this story isn't about unrequited wrongs, the story ends in a nice way. Hooray!
In a way, it's fortunate, this last person that made the joke is a pretty good friend, and I didn't want to hold this against him. So I ended up emailing him after a couple days letting him know how his joking about my faking my illness had hurt me. He was really sorry, in a very sincere sort of way, and I know he meant no disrespect, he's very supportive of me as a person and of my work as an artist, he knows firsthand that I'm not a lazy person... He's also a person I have a lot of admiration and respect for. That is why I thought it was important that I let him know how I felt, I had a feeling he'd understand and would make sure not to drop that joke on me again.
Moral is: Never, ever make a joke to a sick person about how they are faking their illness. Sure, life ain't all black and white, some unscrupulous people lie about being sick, I realize that possibility, but your safest bet is to not make that joke. I bet that more likely than not a sick person really is sick, so you're probably gambling on losing percentages when you make a joke like that. Plus most people aren't as kind as I am and would probably have ripped your throat out for that kind of joke... just sayin'.
22 comments:
As you know from my blog, I have a severe allergy to narcissists--they are exactly the types to "joke" about someone faking illness. That's because they project their awefulness onto the world, and faking an illness is the kind of thing a narcissist would do. So if anyone has the bad taste to imply that to you again, call them out on being a fuck. Or send them to me, and I'll abuse them and my extensive anatomical knowledge at the same time.
I can understand some people saying that as a compliment on your good looks, but it's so insensitive. It's like telling a woman who is infertile, "For someone who can't have kids you're really good looking." Yes, that's what really matters, how good you look, not your health and the consequences it has on your life. Assholes.
Taarzaan: Haha, you are awesome! Thanks for that... this experience has really helped me in terms of caring less about negative things people think or say to me or about me, I don't give a shit, I know the truth and I have nothing to be ashamed of. So most things don't get under my skin, but the faking my illness joke stuff still really pisses me off, in spite of my best efforts.
Mariana: Hehe, you are so sweet! How's Gatochy doing??? I'll head over to your blog and see if you have any updates on the kitty.
Jayne: Thank you so much, that article was unbelievable! I will be spreading that one around, it's on the money and very well put.
Smart about turning off the auto upgrades, I should do that.
I've been backing up my bookmarks by going to "Manage Bookmarks", File, Export, D Drive to a CDRW.
>bullshitter and a lazy bastard
They better not be calling you that... lose are trademarked phrases that describe me. Don't make me take legal action cause I will.
I use firefox and just updated w/o incident. Of course I use a Mac and everyone knows everything works better on a Mac (ducking and running)
I don't understand it myself, but some think an illness needs to be visible in some way. If they can't see it, it doesn't exist. We know that is bullshit. And yes, it can hurt more with a friend making a joke than a stranger. Good that you cleared the air with your friend.
Pretty firefox!
Nice looking firefox.. on illnesses.. my brother was diagnosed with MS about 12 years ago. He may not look sick to alot of people but they would not call him lazy or saying he's faking it. cause I would have to beat them.I've seen him at some bad times, where his vision is impaired and his hearing is bad. He is deaf in one ear. But he is a good person such as yourself. Don't let these pitiful people with nothing better to do get you down. Fuck them.. but it's good you talked to your friend.. You will always know who your TRUE FRIENDS are.
People who say another person is faking an illness deserve to get really sick themselves. But don't worry, they're probably miserable and hate themselves...because only a miserable person could say a thig like that. Happy people are usually to happy to be judgemental and snotty. : )
I would be pissed as hell if I lost all my bookmarks. Like I chicken without his head. Luckily I have firefox and IE so if one goes down, I have the bookmarks backed up.
Telling someone they are faking is just wrong. I am glad you confronted your friend about it.
Seb- I voted for ya on 25 peeps. And I'm sorry about your friend saying that. That is totally the wrong thing to see. People are uncomfortable with chronic illness so they say stupid shit. Sigh. That is most definitely a red panda, not a firefox. ;D
PS use bloglines and you won't lose your bookmarks anymore. ;)
JP: That is because you are a smart man! Wish I would've thought of that!
Bice: Haha! I wish I owned a Mac.
Babs: Yeah, it's weird, seems like people need physical evidence, like I need to cough up a lung or something.
Babybull: I'm sorry about your brother, but thank you for understanding! Illness is never an easy thing for people to understand.
Lauren: Very good point about happy people not doing those sorts of things. But believe it or not one of my parent's friends who is a doctor kept making the same damn joke to me every time. I warned my parents I was going to break his face the next time he said it... they thought I was lying at first that he kept making that joke, but then they were there when he did it and couldn't believe it. But, I'm glad I worked it out with this friend, I didn't want to lose this friendship over this, especially because I don't think he mean to be disrespectful.
Mrmaneul: Once again, a smart man! Should've done something similar! Yeah, it was worth bringing it up with my friend, I'm glad I don't have to be angry about it anymore.
Helen: Thanks for voting, we are going to take over the world! I think you are right about people being uncomfortable with illness and sometimes saying the wrong thing...
It's funny, some of us were talking about bookmarks the other day and many of us admitted that we don't really use them. We just google whatever url we're looking for. I admit it, I'm lazy.
And yeah, where do people get the BALLS to joke about illness? People don't even find it funny to joke about a COLD much less a chronic health issue. Talk about tactless. :-\
I'm glad you emailed your friend. Open and honest communication is very important, not only with our doctors, but with people who may not be as intimate with our medical goings-on. I'm glad you were able to get things cleared up with your friend, but I'm especially glad you have this space in which you can vent your spleen. Great friendships have been lost over much smaller transgressions. Good for you for working this one out.
Firefox is better than most alternatives. Kiss and make up with it, okay? It didn't mean it.
Yes, HO HO HO Hairy Eczemas to You and your family too :)
Wait till Rambo gets bigger and stronger, then sic him on their insensitive asses.
Or better yet, find a rabid firefox that will attack these heathens!
testing testing 123...
Hmmm...looks like comments might be working again!?! Yesterday I wrote a really long comment about this post and it didn't take.AArrgghhh!
Anyway, I can totally relate to this post. My own father said behind my back that he thought I was faking my illness (actually he told my mother at a lunch they had together and she told me what he said - family politics because my parents have been divorced for 20+ years and my mom always likes to get in a dig on my dad when she can). Of course now that there are outward physical symptoms, he believes it.
I'm dealing with a painful toe problem due to the autoimmune disease right now and I have a handicapped sticker. People look at me funny and think I'm just getting a good spot because I only limp "a little bit". I'm tired of the dirty looks I get from people.
I think you're right about the people who say these things revealing their inner desire to get out of something by "slacking". They wish they could get out of work and faking illness is something they would love to get away with.
Also people who have never had an illness or injury have a lot less empathy and compassion for others who do.
Nicole: Yeah, jokes those jokes ain't funny! So you don't use bookmarks??? Hmmmm, they are so practical though...
Fringes: Having this blog has been so helpful to me, it's really helped me clear my mind and realize what I'm actually thinking at times! And I'm really glad I worked it out with my friend, if I hadn't I really would've been holding his jokes against him...
Shaymus: Haha, thanks Shaymus!
WAT: You, my friend, are a genious. Rambo is secret weapon numero uno! Well, I guess he won't be so secret when he's barking like a madman...
Sonja: Oh man, I can't even imagine that with your father. I know you mentioned it before, and I think that is the worst thing about illness, people can't quite grasp it if it doesn't distinctly physically manifest itself. It's sad, but, at the same time, it makes it all the more wonderful when there are people who understand. But I'm happy your father finally came around, it sounds like that must've taken a load off of your shoulders when he finally realized the reality of your situation. And I hope you are doing ok, sorry to hear that you are having bad pain :(
hello!!.. is that a red panda or it is named a firefox too? nice blog u have here! :D
Long Live Animal Lovers.. *winks*
You've been freakin' Christmas tagged!
Merry Christmas!
Dolcedonna: Thanks! Yeah, both names work, I check on wikipedia!
Babs: Thanks Babs, thanks a lot...
Silverneurotic: Merry Christmas to you too! Let the slaughter begin, uh, I meant let the festivities begin!!!
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