Dog Problem
Bad news. Very bad news. Rambo (our dog as most of already know) is awesome, but he has one little problem. Ok, it's not little, it's freakin' colossal, huge, monsterous, brobdignagian...Actually, I just decided I can't write about this problem. It's too troubling, disturbing, terrible, it will give you all nightmares...
I'll tell you about another more mundane problem he is causing. He likes to chew on things, and this isn't so bad I guess, most puppies like to chew on things. But he keeps trying to eat my books and magazines, and sometimes when he gets lucky he's able to capture a shoe from my room and make it down the hall without my noticing. Well, he's not so villainous, he could be a lot worse, the only troubling thing is the unmentionable problem, but when you put it in perspective it's probably not all that bad. Sorry, none of this made sense, some day, maybe I will be able to find the words to explain the colossal evil problem that haunts Rambo, but it is still too fresh in my mind...
Although Rambo's unknown 'problem' may cause you to wonder if he may not in fact be an unscrupulous evil tyrant, I will vehemently proclaim that Rambo is most certainly not any of the following things: serial killer, talk show host, rapist, drug smuggler, narcotics agent, illegal immigrant, border patrol agent, money launderer, backstabbing fiend, mobster, embezzler, stealer of identities, internet hacker, government spy, avid fisherman, arms dealer, ally of the evil Duckbill Platypuses, hockey player, spy for the Kremlin, designer of faulty chairs, Ford company CEO, terrorist, nor is he an ardent destroyer of private property. Ok, that last one is a big fat lie, he loves destroying the shit out of private property!!! I hope that lie doesn't throw my other assertions under greater scrutiny...
Movie: Running Scared
I saw this movie yesterday, it was awesome. Sure it was a little silly at times, and I thought the acting wasn't always great, but it's a great flick, reminds me of Sin City, chock full of action and violence! Crazy pimps, hookers, child pornographers, undercover cops, bombs, knife fights, car crashes, sleazy mobsters, lots of gunplay, this movie has it all!
15 comments:
Gosh! I hope I didn't jinx Rambo with all my suggestions that he was a stoner pooch or possibly even already dead.
How was I to know my words had that kind of impact on the DNA of animals.
Sounds like its exactly what I like...
the graphics in the credits of JB were great as usual
You can always email me with Rambo's problem...perhaps I've had a similar problem with my dog and can give you some suggestions. As for chewing shows...at least your dog waits until you have your shoe off to start chewing...my dog will start chewing on shoes even when they are firmly tied onto your feet.
I'm guessing that he's a leg humper. You didn't list that in your denial(s). So I'm guessing leg humping is his problem. Now I'm too scared to sleep. Drat!
Bice: Damnit! This is all YOUR fault!!!! I took some pictures of Rambo today, I was laughing so hard, he really looks like he's playing dead when he sleeps, he's got his legs sticking up in the air, hilarious, anyways made me think of your accusations of my dog not being alive!
Shaymus: Oh yeah, intro was great, that first chase, mmmm, love that jumping off one crane to another!!!
Silverneurotic: Well, it's not soooo bad, I'll probably mention it at some point once I get over the yucky factor... Haha, yeah Rambo does that too sometimes, he keeps trying to eat my arms and my sweater! Funny, but annoying!! Do you have pics of your dog, I wanna see!!!!
Taarzaan: Well, that would be terrible and atrocious, because in no way shape or form do I condone leg humping. Fortunately, that is not his problem, it is of a more, well, has something to do with eating something you shouldn't.
Does he eat poop? Come on.. don't leave us hanging here!
Many thanks for the heads up on Running Scared. I'll definately check that out this weekend!
He's eating poop? you don't want to share.. I promise I won't have any nightmares.. please don't leave us hanging...or a toilet drinker. I see you left that one out too..
I'm glad to know Rambo's not a terrorist. : )
...My bet's on eating poop.
I'm not quite sure where to fit in here, but I'm squeezing in as tight as possible. Rambo is a cutie, if that helps any frustrations.
Skittles: Crap, oh crap...
Rev. Qelqoth: Hope you get a chance to see it, it's awesome!
Babybull40: Shoot, you guys are good, too good.
Lauren: Once again, too good.
Fringes: That helps, it helps dissolve some of the pain I feel over this 'unmentionable' problem!
My inlaws have a puppy that chews on everything. It's not good when you are sitting in the living room and the dog runs in with the cord to your expensive floor lamp.
Saw Running Scared last weekend. Yeah, I agree with your assessment. It was a pretty damn good movie.
Is Rambo's unspeakable problem that he's discovered his...well, ya know...sexuality? My parrot Gizmo discovered hers when she was about 1 1/2 years old. She rubbed herself against her perch and made horrible sounds - we thought she was having a seizure. But when she finished, it was with such a release that we quickly figured out what she was doing! I don't know much about dogs, maybe he's too young for this kind of behavior.
Oh, i just looked at some of the comments above. I guess eating poo makes more sense!
Crush up some "Ice" and wrap it up in a Wash cloth or rag and let him chew on that...
Works for Puppies that are Teething...
Mrmanuel: Yeah, even dangerous too, I'm always worried he's going to get electrocuted. Glad we agree on the movie, I want to watch it again!
Sonja: Haha, you figured it out! Oh man, I talk about sex in my next post...
Keith: That is a great idea, thanks Keith! Although won't the ice bits get all over the place, he tends to tear stuff apart very easily!
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