Google Searches

Sadly, I have neglected the topic of google searches that lead to this blog. The wait ends now, I will create a journal entry out of some of the google searches that have led to my blog. The google searches are in italics AND bold...

Sebastien's Journal Entry

I saw a Simpsons' episode where they reenact 'The Shining.' Seeing that episode made me wonder if there is an episode where Spongebob does the Shining. I check Nickolodeon for Spongebob, but something else is on, a show on cats, I am displeased to say the least, if I want to see cats I might as well go waste my time on cats are cool!.com.

I change channels and see that a Duckbill Platypus movie is playing on cinemax. It is overly violent for my taste. Turning off the tv, I grab a book filled with pictures of daffy duck playing basketball, and can't help wondering if there is any way Daffy could beat the great white sharks basketball team. The sharks are an imposing team, what with their uniform that consists of dead taxidermied snakes, and their chant of "i lost my eye." The uniform and chant always strikes fear in the heart of opponents. Why, just the other day the sharks were about to play a b-ball game when their cowering opponents realized victory against these demonic sharks was impossible. In their fear the opponents yelled out,"Invisible things keep biting me!" They were quickly whisked away to the mental hospital, and in doing so ingeniously avoided a basketball match against the frightening sharks.

Meanwhile, the sharks were now left with free time on their hands. They decided to do a round table discussion on the literary merits of writers like Andre Gide and Edgar Allan Poe Sebastien. It was riveting and made for great television.

I forgot to tell you guys, it has recently been discovered that Poe had changed his name and added Sebastien to the end, it turns out Sebastien was his great inspiration and muse. Who knew? I have to admit, I'm the one who taught Poe how to paint bird feathers, and I also remember the time Poe asked me, what is journal entry? Yeah, I taught Poe everything he learned, even grammar skills...

Now, I'm sure many of you esteem Edgar Allan Poe, but truth be told, he was kind of annoying. For instance, he always whiningly asked me if he could borrow my laptop just so he could watch what he euphemistically referred to as 'videos chistosos de sexo.' I even saw him use my computer to google search things like 'fascist kitties' and 'real scary shit.' Let's just say Poe owes much to the internet for helping him find fantastic ideas. For example, you know that story of his, 'The Black Cat'? Well, Poe found all his material for that story by google searching 'felins not eating,' 'cruel thinking in the mind. How to overcome,' 'Edgar Allan Poe psychological aspects,' and 'pyschotic visions.' That's it, that's how the man created his stories!

Poe's final short story was called, 'I'm Still Thinking About You in French,' and as Poe tried to explain to me, the story was mainly about cool things on Allen Iverson. Let's just say I had to heavily edit that one, turning it from a simple laudatory story on the merits of Allen Iverson into a chilling tale of horror and suspense. The reworked story involves a scorpion painting, where the creature from the painting comes to life to haunt the main character. The drama involves the main character losing his glasses, and now, unable to see this terrible scorpion, he yells out with terror, "IM NEARLY BLIND WITHOUT MY GLASSES!" But don't worry, the story ends well, the scorpion died before he hurt anyone.