Scorpion Fun.

I'm realizing there are tons of scorpions in my room! I've found way more this past year than I ever have before.

At least I saw before it ever had a chance to sting me. The scorpion came out of the bathroom and seemed like it was heading straight for my foot. For a second I thought it was a cricket and I couldn't have cared less. But then I saw the creature do some weird twirly thing with its stinger...

I considered finding the bottle of Raid to kill it. Using the Raid would leave the scorpion dead but intact (so it could be used as the subject in a future painting). But I figured it'd probably find a place to hide in my room before I could get the Raid. I decided upon immediate action, which meant bashing it with a shoe.

The pictures I posted show the remnants of the scorpion. It's pretty mangled, and unfortunately I don't think I will ever be able to use it as a subject for a still life painting.

I used to be so scared of these things, and while they still kinda freak me out, they don't get my heart racing like they used to. The highs just aren't as good anymore, maybe if I found a snarling grizzly bear in the closet, maybe that would hit the spot...

Please feel free to talk about your own worst animal experiences in comments :)

Creatures to Paint...

We found another scorpion this morning... Great? These things are popping up all over the place! Unfortunately this one was vacuumed, so he will not be a specimen that I get to paint... and I can't even show you what he looked like since I didn't even get a chance to snap a couple pics of him. There's this sense of loss inside of me, hard to describe, but I'm mourning the lost opportunity...

You know, I certainly want to paint scorpions, but I'd also love to find some huge hornets to paint, but right now isn't the season for that kind of insect around here. The hornets/wasps we get are huge, their buzz sounds as loud as a freakin' lawnmower. And their anatomy is totally crazy, their back section is connected to the front by this little measly wire-like thing... And if I could ever get my hands on a dead diamondback snake... I'd give anything to paint a snake, the texture, patterns, the way light glistens on the scales, plus snakes are so interesting in terms of imagery and symbolism... as evidence witness the image I posted at the top, called the 'Madonna of the Snake' by Caravaggio. Laying the beat down on a snake with your bare feet!? Now that is crazy...

All this talk about painting creatures brings me back to a couple years ago when I lived in Chicago. I'd been telling my friends at work how badly I wanted to paint a bird. I'd go to the field museum every once in a while and draw specimens they had on display. It was actually really cool, and you'd always get these little kids coming up to you and asking a bunch of questions and saying lots of nice stuff to you about your drawing. Actually that was probably the best part, little kids are so funny and hilarious...

Anyways, I prefer drawing and painting in privacy, without millions of people milling about. So I wanted to figure out how to find a dead bird, preferably taxidermied or whatever (I had a crazy friend who said he was trying to learn how to do this so he was gonna help me out). Well, one day, walking back from work I came across a dead bird, perfectly normal looking, lying there in the middle of the sidewalk. I knew this was the moment of truth, would I, in my craziness, find the courage to pick up this random dead bird off the sidewalk so I could bring him home and paint him? Glancing in my bag I saw I had a brown paper bag, and I knew chances like this don't occur every day. So, in the end, I did do a painting of this bird... Unfortunately I have not found any dead birds since then, and the roadkill here in AZ tends to be pretty gruesome and also gets quickly picked apart by vultures. Cool.

Looking back, I would never touch a dead animal again, pretty stupid, you have no clue what kind of illness those creatures might have... When I got sick with my current illness, I had a couple bad holy shit moments, like maybe I got ill because of that bird, but it was so many years ago... I mentioned it to the doctor because I was kinda freaked out. Well, since I've done every test known to man, there's only one thing ailing me, the Epstein-Barr virus, so that bird I painted was irrelevant to my current situation. Good grief, I would've been insanely pissed at myself if the bird was the reason I had gotten sick, I was also pretty freaked about HIV, that's another one I would've beaten myself up over, but thankfully I don't have that!

Hurray! More Scorpions in the House (Why Am I Still Living Here...)! Plus Painting Ideas, and a Line From the Movie Platoon

Please welcome the newest member of our family, he's in the foreground, big fat scorpion guy, he looks a little bleached out, must be from eating poisoned crickets. In the background is Scorpy the Scorpion, who, as you might remember, met his terrible fate a while back, a fate that included my dad pounding him into the ground with my sketchbook (uh, no, that's not bitterness there, just stating the facts!).

Fortunately this big fat scorpion was dead when we found him, Howard, our pest control guy who is so awesome by the way... Howard and I sometimes have these long winding conversations about life and everything, plus he's got a cool twirly Rollie Fingers/19th century moustache going. Anyways, I have a feeling this big fat scorpion died not directly from Howard's insecticide, since it is very difficult to poison scorpions directly, you must poison them by poisoning the food they eat, like crickets. Why do you need to know this, you don't, you are bashing your head into the keyboard because that was useless and excessive info which will most likely never serve a purpose in your life.

Ideas for Paintings

Anyways, I think this newest scorpion presents a much better specimen to do a painting of, although it's too bad he's a little bleached out, but that's kinda cool in a way.

I was thinking the other day about ideas for paintings when I'm better, I think it'd be fun to do some still lifes with a mixture of objects that have different surfaces and textures, like an old tv (painting the screen and reflections would be cool, heck, maybe I can find a broken tv who's screen is cracked) somehow juxtaposed with dog toys (I have no clue on the layout, but I'm thinking a conventional one might be interesting). What's cool about dog toys is all the teeth marks, little pieces hanging by a thread, and the infintesimal scratches and details... I think all those details and nicks and scratches will be fun to capture.

Movie: Platoon

On tv last night... Platoon! Only saw a snippet, but it was great, Tom Berenger, totally intense in this movie telling a wounded soldier, 'Take the pain!' Sounded like a real sadist... but Berenger's so good in his role, I think that line about taking the pain will repeat itself inside of my head whenever I'm having bad headaches... Unfortunately I missed the part of the movie where they smoke opium out of a shotgun, I saw the movie years ago back in high school, but I always fondly remembered that part!

The Scorpion

I know you all might have wondered what I did with that scorpion that terrorized us so much we had hallucinations, seizures, psychedelic nightmares... actually it was all pretty cool stuff!

No, I didn't do the logical thing and throw him away, set him on fire, put him on my sister's chair... I'm keeping him in this black cup, saving him for what will become his tragic destiny...

I'm going to do a painting of him (once I'm better of course!). The painting will be called, "The Greatest Painting Ever Because This Is a Painting of the Crazy Scorpion That Tried to Kill Me But He Failed Miserably And I Killed Him Well Actually My Dad Killed Him Because Basically He Wasn't a Perfectly Evolved Apex Predator Like the Great White Shark Is So Now He's My Bitch." I'm still tweaking the title.

My Little Scorpy, as I affectionately call him now, lies quietly and unperturbed in serene solitude... I hope his brothers and sisters don't figure out what ignominious masterplans I hold for him, they are liable to go crazy on me and decide to sting me to oblivion as I sleep the sweet sleep of the truly innocent.

Here is a picture of the vault where My Little Scorpy rests in peace till I bust him out for the painting. (Note to self: Might want to find a more secure location for this thing...)

SCORPION IN MY ROOM! AHHHHHHHHH!

Setting: Nightime. My bedroom. My dad is in my chair, I'm lying down on the floor (it's comfortable ok!!!), we are having a conversation about how much we want a dog.

Well, out of nowhere this scorpion appears. My dad noticed it right next to his foot, which wasn't far from where I was lying down. My dad jumps up and goes into crazy kill mode, while I'm still lying down just thinking he saw a cricket or something. Wham, bam, with a couple of righteous, put the fear of God into you smacks of my sketchbook (thanks pops!) my dad has killed the scorpion.

Did I say I loved all animals in my last post? Uhhhh, you can 'x' that out, because I most certainly don't love scorpions. After the snake incident just outside my room, it's wonderful luck that we now find a scorpion in my room, which also leads to this logical conclusion: If there's one scorpion in my room there's probably more...

Hmmm, I have a feeling sleep will be a bit more difficult tonight. Please, wish me luck, so that I may make it through the perilous night intact. Godamn it, there's also those monsters in the closet!!! I can handle them, but when there's scorpions too, well... I guess I got my hands full, to say the least.

Look, I know you find me sexy Mr. Scorpion, and that is why you are in my room at this time of night, but I will most certainly not make out with you!