Saturday, November 25, 2006

The New Bond Promises to be Murderifically Marvelous


I feel very awake at the moment. You need to know this. I don't know why.

I didn't see a movie yesterday, today might be the day the movie event happens. Most likely we will be seeing a violent movie that is needlessly murderific, with a visual feast that includes huge multi-million dollar expensive explosions, shootouts with blood flowing as freely as wine in the Garden of Eden (see Bosch's painting for reference point, actually this has nothing to do with anything), monsters that eat little kids, psycho dogs with rabies frothing at the mouth breaking into people's homes and eating the stuff in their fridge, super evil villains who are so demonic and crazy and use these mind blowingly intricate sadistic (is that redundant?) torture methods I will have constant nightmares about them in the months to follow, car chases so deliriously hilarious that I will want to blow $80,000 on a new car just so I can trash it as exactly as I saw it happen in the film, and lots of sexy scenes with women who are so unbelievably faked up with make up and sooo skinny I can barely perceive their oh so beautiful presence, oh, oh wait wait, of course there also needs to be lots of drugs and drug dealing super-villains with funky foreign accents and fancy designer eyeglasses that I will need to purchase a pair so I can act as intellectually villainous as the villains I've witnessed on screen...

Yes, I expect many things from the new Bond movie, I really do. My faith is rock solid, I'm sure this movie will fulfill all my expectations and more. Hmmm, yes, I do so love the simple pleasures in life, although I do tend to get carried away in my excitement...

I mentioned torture scenes, I'm not actually a great fan of that, although now that I'm thinking about it, it brings to mind this painting that I really like, it's by David Gerard, quite an insane and gruesome piece... but really beautifully painted!

The Judgement of Cambyses

10 comments:

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

Though, I'm not a fan of James Bond...it seems as though its a good movie. Everything I've heard about it so far has been good.

Mariana said...

Have you ever seen Barbarella? There's a scene where Jane Fonda is tied by a few evil kids who then send their robotic toys with sharp, metallic teeth to bite her legs. That's a scene I saw as a kid and I never forgot it! I'm almost 100% sure I didn't make it up and this is actually in the movie! Fonda's terror is very convincing, make sure you see it sometime. Oh, and the opening scene where she's naked and dressing up in zero gravity is classic.

lindenksv said...

Oh my God, are they skinning this man alive??

Sebastien said...

Silverneurotic: Yeah, I got bored with the Bonds a long time ago, but I'm kind of excited about this one. Also, since I've been sick I've really been into more visceral stuff.

Mariana: I haven't seen it, only brief little snipets. Ok, from your description that sounds like my kind of movie!

lindenksv: Yeah, it's really disgusting. Imagine being the artist, having to spend the time painting the details of the guys muscle sinews. Yucky.

Shaymus O'flatulence's Blog said...

yeah its a nice pic but I would prefer to see a few heads on sticks around just to set the mood :)

Sebastien said...

Yeah, that's a good point, maybe I should photoshop that in there...

Sonja said...

Egads! That painting is nightmarish. Is it possible our kind and sweet Seb has a dark side? :)

Sebastien said...

Yes, maybe I have a bit of a dark side, although I don't think it's all that dark (uh, I hope!!!)!

nicole said...

OMG, that painting disturbs me on levels I can't even describe. This guy's getting his skin peeled off yet everyone's so calm and nonchalant about it.

Great way to spend a Saturday afternoon I guess.

Sebastien said...

Yeah, you're right, that makes it about 10 times more disturbing, the calmness of everybody around, ah, it's messed up. This painting is pretty sick... But the way it's painted, seriously unbelievable.