Sunday, November 05, 2006

Dear Diary


Dear Diary,

This entry concerns my concerns on the evil machinations of the duckbill platypus. I've been very puzzled on the subject of this creature. It keeps me up late at night, I thrash and turn in my bed, beads of sweat roll down my trembling forehead as I agonize over this painfully difficult conundrum. Sleep will continue to elude me so long as I do not have a concrete understanding of the duckbill platypus and its motives.

I can't quite figure out whether the duckbill platypus is the most ingenious creature ever, with an intellect so strong as to be on par with Einstein's. Or, is this creature not perhaps the most amazingly hilarious, dreadfully dolefully dim-witted living thing on God's green (uh, probably not so green anymore) earth, and has it duped us into believing it is the greatest thing ever?

Some experts even say this creature is planning to take over the world! These people believe the duckbill platypus wants to usurp our position and grab the reins to power, and create a worldwide duckbill platypus hegemony!

Do you believe the duckbill platypus to be as magnificently malevolently marvelous yet damningly devious as some say, or do you believe it is a ruse, meant to trick us and manipulate our innocent psyches?

If this post made any sense to you, I worry about your sanity, as for my own sanity, not a shred of it is left. Well, I need to go find that 'To Fear' list of mine, I gotta add the duckbill platypus.

P.S. I will be presenting more evidence on the evilness of duckbill platypuses in the days to follow.

15 comments:

lilfeathers2000 said...

You have miscalculated this creature it is actually the opposum that plans to take over the world.
As anyone in North Americia can clearly see they are brave creatures and challenge vehicles many times their won wieght. I.E. standing in the middle of a highway challenging a semi-truck.

Sebastien said...

Your genius and insight is uncanny! Maybe I've been wrong all along, it's not the duckbill but the opposum who threatens our society. The opposum is gradually building up an offensive against us. Good thing high tech weaponary is available to the public here so we can at least stand a chance against this devilishly devious creature.

new illuminati said...

Eye live with platypuses (yes, that's the correct plural). Actually, they live a few metres away in the river, where they've been for about a hundred million years.
Their burrows have a liquid pressure seal, so they'll probably out-survive any homes we build.
Don't mess with the egg-laying mammal!
http://www.blogcharm.com/eyemage

PS - the (o)possum has alreeady taken over New Zealand.

Babs said...

No need to worry about my sanity. As I say on my site, I'm going to take over the world. Got a few friends that will help and my army of 106 trillion cockroaches. And they aren't doing nothing all day, they are tormenting my next door neighbor for me until their next assignment. Or maybe they are really out on covert ops right now... muwhahahhahaa

Mariana said...

They're cute but they have a venomous sting hidden somewhere in their bill, right? Clearly they're the femme fatales of the animal kingdom.

Tracey said...

I look foward to hearing more crazy platypus talk!!

WAT said...

The word in Spanish for this animal by the way is, are you ready?

ORNITORRINCO.

Uh huh.

Maritza said...

The Platypus family on Mr. Roger's neighborhood used to freak the sh*t out of me when I was a teenager. I mean, when I was a kid.

Sebastien said...

New Illuminati: You live with platypuses! That is amazing! Very interesting about their habitat and egg laying ways. This only increases my fear/respect of the creatures.

Babs: Ok good! I was worried you weren't using the army. Hopefully they are doing terrible things to your neighbor as we speak.

Mariana: No way! Are you serious!? I've got to look that up, because that will only further legitimize the duckbill platypus as a serious threat in my book.

Tracey: Oh, don't you worry!! I have many more crazy fandangled conspiracy theories concerning the machinations of the duckbill platypus.

WAT: Ahhhhhahahahhahah! I love it! That is my new favorite word!

Maritza: Oh that sounds hilarious! I always hear about Mr. Rogers, but I've never seen the show. Unfortunately I have a huge gap in pop culture knowledge since my parents weren't kind enough to have moved here for me to be born. Alas, I was glutted full of Euro nonsense the first 7 years of my life.

Stratocat said...

I'm worried too. I woke up in the middle of the night realizing that I've been confusing Warren Oates and Darren McGavin my whole life.

Sebastien said...

Stratocat, that sounds like a serious offence!

MrManuel said...

I read a quote once(can't remember where) that said, "The duck billed platypus - prooof that God has a sense of humor."

Sebastien said...

Mrmanuel: Yeah! I've heard that too, don't know where from, but I certainly can't disagree!

Lauren Mitchell said...

Hi Sebastien,

I'm sick (lyme disease) and write on a blog too (mostly to keep the boredom from melting my brain out of my ears).

Anyway, just wanted to say hi, and feel better : )

-lauren

Sebastien said...

Hi Lauren. I'm sorry to hear about your illness, but I can totally relate, writing a blog helps so much!!! It's one of the few outlets I have, since I've been housebound for quite a while already!

Thanks for the kind words!