Lessons. Books.

First off. Thanks for all the well wishes for my mom. I will be writing more when we know more, still waiting for some test results, but so far things have gone as well as they could have... she is quickly recovering from a successful surgery. But we're not in the clear yet, so of course we are hoping for the best, but we remain prepared to tackle whatever situation arises. Forgive me, I'm still too worried to write about all of this in full detail.

In other news...

Gave another French lesson today. I know I keep saying this, but it's such a great experience, things are going so well, and I can't believe my health is holding up enough for me to do these lessons!

I think I'm going to keep giving lessons even when I'm better. Maybe give some painting lessons too if I have the time for all of that. And for some reason someone wants me to tutor their daughter in science. Hey, why not, I liked science, specially my biology class with the British teacher who always pronounced evolution as 'EVIL-ution.' I laughed every time he said that. He just made evolution sound so damn terrible, like a curse or something. It made me want to kick evolution's ass.

I can't wait to be all the way better. I'm going to go shoot some pool. I guess that has nothing to do with anything.

Anyways.

I've been reading "Alice in Wonderland." I've actually never read it before. It is sooooo AWESOME! I love it. Every word is perfect. Wouldn't change a thing.

Also started reading Milton's "Paradise Lost." I had a friend who always talked about that poem... and since my mind feels sharper these days, I figured why not read it. It's surprisingly readable, and quite a fascinating story, all about the fall of man, but it seems that a lot of the story is told from Satan's perspective. Satan's perspective! How can this book not be awesome?

Unfortunately, for the greater part of this illness I felt too sick to read. And I have a feeling that as I keep getting better I'm probably going to have less and less of a chance to read. In the gradual march back to health, life will takeover my life, which is a good thing! And, as wonderful as literature is, it doesn't quite replace life (obviously!)! I really want to be doing stuff, got tons of projects in the works, I think I've had enough sitting around for a lifetime... Shoot, I can't even begin to talk about all my plans. Got so many. Quite a few art projects lined up with different people. I'm excited.

But in the meanwhile, as I keep recovering, I'll be reading lots of stuff. I'm just thankful I don't have the pain like I used to, watching tv was the only thing I could manage in a sad effort to grind out those terrible days. At least I learned a lot about celebrities. Like Paris Hilton. God I love Paris!

And I like Lindsay Lohan too.

But Britney annoys me.

So, that's it for now I guess.

Talk About the Worst Book You've Ever Read...

Today is book bashing day. Not quite the same as the most marvelous of all holidays we all look forward to (that would be book burning day of course). Book bashing day is quite fun even though we don't get to burn nefarious literature. But I have a feeling you are wondering what my favorite book to burn is, so to preempt your question I'll answer right here: nothing, and I mean nothing, beats the joy I feel when I get to burn a copy of the book Fahrenheit 451, it's a wickedly sinful novel written by Ray Bradbury. Burning that book never gets old. It's also Dick Cheney's favorite book to burn. What can you say, Cheney is just awesome like that. (just joking by the way, I love Ray Bradbury, although, I really do love Dick Cheney too, the permanent lip snarl thing he's got going is way sexy)

Anyways. Let's talk about bad books. I'm reading a bad book right now, and while it's not the most horrible of the horrible, I'm finding it to be really annoying and boring. The title is Beatrix and it's written by Balzac. I've been liking a lot of this author's other books, so I wasn't expecting this one to suck so bad... I don't even have the heart to tell you the story, but basically it's a silly love story that's so ridiculously boring you'd barf your brains out...

Other books... Well, I remember reading Moby Dick in highschool, and that was the biggest pain in the ass book. EVER. There were chapters and chapters all about the whale, whale characteristics, whale facts, it was constant, the whale this, the whale that... you know what, screw the whale, I don't give a damn. Please, just stop bashing me over the head with whale facts. Can we get on with the plot and forget about whale anatomy... Seriously, I used to love whales, but now I shudder when I see a whale drawing or picture or hear someone talking about whales all because of that stupid book... Maybe I'd like Melville's book more now, maybe I'd understand the depth of the novel a bit better, but I don't really care, I don't want to punish myself with that book again. Once is enough. Although I do like some of Melville's other stuff...

So what books do you hate? Or just dislike or find ridiculous?

Poe's Ligeia. Thoughts on Opium. A Raccoon Ate My Headphones But First He Beat Me On the Head With Them.

First off, sorry, lately most of my posts have been on stuff I've been reading... I'll be doing celebrity posts soon... Beckham coming to the US, oh my! Let's all grovel, or shoot ourselves in the head, whichever you feel is more appropriate...

So, I finally got to read a bit today, and I'm totally digging this Poe story, Ligeia. Why? Yeah, it's a great story, but what I love the most is the idea of will. Will. The will to live, that's what the story is about for me. And love too. Love is cool. Can help bring you back from the dead.

See, Ligeia is this really fine woman that the narrator loves, and she loves him, with total passion. But she gets sick, and although she has a crazy desire and will to live, and this man she loves and wants to be with... well, in spite of these things she can't beat her illness. Ligeia dies.

But the thing is, this lady has such a burning passion to live, to come back, to return from death... Well, in the end, she does come back from the dead! Her spirit was so strong, her will was so determined, she was able to overcome the laws of reality... Something like that I guess.

I also dug how wind was mentioned in the story. This invisible, great force, wind, acting like a channel for Ligeia's spirit, a channel for her to come back to physical reality. Coolness.

There is only one little problem to this whole story. The narrator is always smoking opium, so he's not totally trustworthy. Ok, that is a little more major than I first let on. Damnit, the freakin' loon might just be imagining the whole damned thing! Dude, he doesn't even remember how he met Ligeia, kinda makes me wonder if Ligeia is even a real person or just a figment of his tripped out mind. It's ok though, because it's cool, that's his reality, even if it's not real.

When all is said and done, I really don't know what to think. I've learned nothing. The story is a mystery. The narrator is an opium smoking lunatic. Is opium that great by the way? Cuz, uh, this narrator guy kinda got me curious... wasn't Poe way into the drugs... didn't Poe end up in a gutter... would that make for a good anti-drug commercial?... or would people think taking drugs makes them do cool things like Poe, no not the ending up in a gutter thing, but the writing cool stories part. Yeah, it'd be a mixed message... I'd probably pass on using Poe in any anti-drug advertisements.

Since you mentioned opium... I wonder what kinda visions I'd have if I tried it, I wonder if I'd have cool visions... like seeing a crazy raccoon materialize out of nowhere, who would promptly attack all the objects in my room with a fierce and psychotic vengeance. Haha, that'd be great. But, Rambo's already beaten him to the punch, so it wouldn't be all that novel.

By the way, there's a couple stories in my Poe book that precede the story Ligeia, Berenice and Eleonora, really great, hghly recommend those stories too. To balance it out, the stories I don't recommend: I'm not fond of Poe's investigation/detective stories, I'd say they suck, but that's unduly harsh, they're just not my thing.

Sports, Sneak Attacks, and Books

Sports Stuff

Lots of sports stuff has happened lately. Great NFL playoffs, Cowboys lose in a wild finish (as it turns out I caught the game while playing poker with my sister and her friends!).

I've been watching most of the Suns' matches too, I usually take the opportunity to catch their games if I'm too tired to read or do something constructive. I really love watching their games, they have a great style and the perfect game plan, unbelievable how consistent they are. They keep winning, they crushed the Warriors last night.

The only problem is I love lying down on the couch or the floor when I watch these games, and that is when Rambo sneaks into the room. Then he usually sneaks over to where I am. I tend to be very into the game, or too tired to notice him, and before I can comprehend his presence he's already sunk his shark teeth into my arm! He's crazy. He starts barking at me, or trying to bite me some more. I think it's because he wants attention, he wants to play, poor little guy. I wish I could play with him in those moments but sometimes I'm too tired for that. I'll usually let him go outside in the yard, and I make sure to point out all the birds and rabbits, sitting pretty in the grass, munching away on seeds and feeding on the luscious grass. I'll whisper something into Rambo's ear, something along the lines of, "Look at that smug little bastard bird, look how goddamn content he is, walking about, with his chest all poofed out. Look, he's just pecking away in our yard, no worries in the world. He doesn't care about you. He doesn't respect you and your shark teeth!"

That gets Rambo going, he hates having other creatures in the yard, especially creatures that don't properly respect and fear him!

Books Stuff

I've been able to read a lot, as I've mentioned before. I started a really interesting French book, Les Faux-Monnayeurs (translated to The Counterfeiters in English) by Andre Gide. My parents got this book for me a while back. I've never read any of this author's books, I've heard a bit about him though, mostly about his best known book, L'immoraliste.

So far the book is pretty interesting, one of the main characters is very autobiographical (I assume). This character is very introspective and talks about lots of different things, has some interesting thoughts on art and life and all that. It's nice, I like getting a sense of the author's persona and ideas. I mean, not all books are meant to be intimate or about the author, but sometimes it's cool to feel that there is total transparency between the author and his writing. Like the writer is hiding nothing. It all depends on the books purpose of course, sometimes it's better when you don't even have to think about the author, and can just think about the story itself without worrying about the writer. Anyways, I'm not that far into this book, but I have a feeling it's mostly a meditation on art and life. Cool by me.

Quick thing. I totally loved this line in Gide's book, and I think it's true in certain respects, not necessarily about the British, but just the idea in general. A lady in Gide's book is telling her lover, who has just cheated with her:

"You remind me of certain British people; the more their thinking is emancipated, the more they attach themselves to morals; it's reached a point where no one is as puritan as these free thinkers."

In more book news, I'm still reading lots of short stories, mostly later in the day, specially at night. I'm really loving reading scary stories right before bed. Still reading lots of Poe, just read a great one by him, William Wilson, that was one cool story. I also re-read the Masque of the Red Death, that story is really growing on me. It's funny, I usually don't re-read authors, but it's very easy to re-read Poe, his use of language is very beautiful, and there are always new things to pick up on in the writing.

Another writer of short stories I'm totally digging: HP Lovecraft!!! This guy is ridiculously great, totally dark, really freakin' scary, sometimes his writing is a little over the top, but sometimes it's just perfect. Definitely recommend him, especially if you like very scary stories, stuff that will keep you up at night! I'll recommend some of my favorite stories very soon, once I've read a couple more... I'll give you some links, there seems to be a couple sites that have his stories.

On Stuff I'm Reading (What, Again!!??)

So, I just re-read Maupassant's 'Le Horla.' I freakin' love that story. Maupassant is obsessed with the invisible. He's always talking about invisible things that exist, powerful things like electricity and wind and all that sort of stuff. He usually uses those examples to set up this question: if we don't see those things yet they exist, aren't there other things out there that we don't see but that also exist? Ohhhh, I'm scared! Stuff like ghosts and monsters and everything. I'm gonna eat some meow mix to calm myself because that's too scary to think about.

Maupassant also thinks our senses are very weak so he's always going on and on about all the stuff we can't see or hear or even comprehend because our senses are too weak. For example, he mentions how weak our sense of smell is, say, in comparison to a dog's sense of smell. Whatever, I still think I'm cooler than a dog. Maupassant just wants to make me feel worthless... I think he was a very unhappy person, he did go mental in the end. He also always talks about how the senses we do have cannot perceive the very large and the very small. He wasn't around for Quantum Mechanics, poor guy, maybe things would've made a lot more sense, well, I dunno, maybe they would've made less sense?

I really dig his fascination with illness (another 'invisible' thing). I wrote about illness and the invisible a while back in my blog, and I wasn't reading Maupassant at the time, but I was thinking along similar lines. I wasn't specifically concerned with the supernatural, I was just fascinated by the idea that lots of 'invisible' things play a huge role in our life, not only illness, but things like gravity. Weird you know, all these invisible forces and things that exist...

I'd read Maupassant years ago, but his thinking and writing really didn't captivate me all that much. Since I've had to struggle with this illness, I've really come to appreciate his thinking a lot more. In the story of 'Le Horla,' the character becomes haunted by an invisible creature, the creature is sort of like a vampire and sucks your soul out and takes control of your body. I honestly think this creature is somewhat symbolic of illness, there are a couple references in the story to boats coming from Brazil (possibly with people carrying the disease that causes the insanity of the main character). There's also continual references to the main character's coachman being very sick and being unable to sleep due to some unmentioned illness. I also know Maupassant struggled with illness in his life (syphilis), so a lot his stories tend to deal with disease and illness, and an assortment of themes that goes along with those things.

I read the 'Masque of the Red Death' by Poe a while back, and there seems to be a lot of similarities between Poe's story and 'Le Horla.' Some similarities I can think of include the idea of seclusion, being trapped, an inability to escape, the fear of illness, fear of the unknown and the invisible, attempts to avoid reality...

Cynosure, Cool Art Links, and Thoughts on Stories I've Been Reading

Cynosure. I had no clue what this word meant. Maybe you do, but if you don't, here's the definition:

1. Something that strongly attracts attention by its brilliance, interest, etc.: the cynosure of all eyes.
2. Something serving for guidance or direction.

I think it's a cool word, I've come across it before, but only now have I finally looked it up. Maybe now that I blog about this word I will really remember it.

Art Stuff

Mariana has a couple of great art posts over at her blog. One post is about Rossetti, a Preraphaelite painter, she makes some fun observations... Another post is a collection of images, all beautiful still lifes.

Stories I've Been Reading

So I've been reading a lot more lately. I can't remember if I've already mentioned this. It's nice, but I'm so greedy, I just wish I could be running around doing stuff. I should be thankful I feel well enough to concentrate on reading, several months ago I would've given anything to be able to read consistently.

Now, I've always loved reading, but there's something a little too passive about it, I'd rather be experiencing life myself than having someone observe it for me. Well, not all writing can be reduced to that... but I'm sure you know what I mean. Especially given the context that I've experienced almost nothing beyond the confines of my room this past year, it's easier to understand why literature doesn't suffice. That said, it still does me good, it allows my mind to go to far away places and experience lots of random adventures (who'm I kidding, I don't need books for that, I have a bunch of peyote in my kitchen cupboard, always does the trick! not to mention all the hallucinations I experience that aren't even drug induced! What can I say, I'm blessed).

So, I've been reading lots of short stories. Been reading a lot of Edgar Allan Poe, and also lots of the French writer, Maupassant. I've really dug a lot of Poe's stories, some of my favorites include The Black Cat, Ligeia, Death Blow, A Mouse Killed My Ourang- Outang, The Pit and the Pendulum, Crack Smoking for Novices, and a range of other fascinating stories. Really cool stuff.

Maupassant is just as morbid as Poe, and really quite insane too. Let's see, the last story of Maupassant's that I read was pretty crazy. It was in the form of a diary. The diary is written by a prosecutor, he is a guy who spends his days sending murderers and rapists to prison or the gallows. But this prosecutor gets infatuated with the idea of what it must be like to kill someone, so he ends up killing a bunch of people to see what it's like. Uh, helloooooo, can you say psycho!? Unfortunately, the prosecutor's diary (in which he has meticulously detailed his crimes) is found only once he is dead, so he escapes earthly punishment for his psychotic deeds. Moral of the story: there's a lot of crazy bastards out there.

Hmmm, I wonder if my recent bouts of night terrors has anything to do with the fact that I'm reading stories like this right before going to bed... I need to start reading happy stuff.

Thoughts on Edgar Allan Poe and Basketball

First off, keep voting for me, and clicking on my pic over at 25peeps.com (I'm the guy staring at his hands with the dramatic lighting). You can vote every day by clicking on my pic. Only with your help can we defeat the competition, which is daunting (as my loyal general Babs pointed out!!!), have you seen all the tits and ass I have to go up against, it's ridiculous! I'm beginning to wonder if 25peeps isn't some sort of softcore porn site. But that, of course, is a topic for another day. Anyways, vote for me so that you may help me in my quest for world domination and my courageous attempt to thwart the impending duckbill platypus conspiracy.

Quick aside: My dog is chewing on the toilet.

Edgar Allan Poe

Now, I haven't read Mr. Poe's work since back in the day when I was a wee little schoolboy. I'm not quite sure why they made us read his work in school, his writing is brilliant, but his subjects and themes are a little macabre and intensely psychological, to say the least, and Poe's writing certainly went over my head at the time (I just thought his stuff was creepy).

Well, I'm not a big fan of short stories, but I said what the hell and decided to start reading this dude, got this nice little anthology of his work that I found. I FREAKIN' LOVE HIS STORIES! I'm so happy I started reading him again, well happy might be the wrong adjective, for godsakes, his writing is about as dire and murderously crazy as literature gets. Anyways, reading Poe has made me realize that I need to explore a whole new genre of fiction, horror stories. There doesn't need to be murderous bloodbaths in the stories, I tend to prefer the psychological aspects of fear and horror, moreso than bloody murders and physically appalling scenarios. So, if you have recommendations for me, please let me know of writers or stories I should check out...

Basketball

Have you seen the Phoenix Suns? They've won 12 in row, playing with panache and a sweet style, how can you not like this team, even if you aren't from Phoenix. They make basketball fun, run and gun, such a nice change of pace from the 90s where basketball was all muscle and grind, really really boring I thought. My art studio (which my buddies are keeping for me till I get better) is right next to the Suns' arena, I can't wait to get better so I can catch some games. It's been a long time since I've been interested in going to a sports game, but you know what, after watching the Suns on tv, I feel like they put on a great show which would be fun to see in person...

Two Funny Links, and I Talk About This Book I'm Reading

Links

These two links are funny, they both involve stories of people not knowing things they really should know.

Ever Heard of Sex? -My question is this, what have you been doing all these years!!!!!!!!!!???

Head of NASDAQ: What's Gross Profit Margin? -Maybe he was just getting high during all his classes in business school?

Let Me Tell You About the Book

Ok, first off, I don't make a habit of talking about the stuff I read, I'm pretty forgetful with plots, I forget what character did what, I get sidetracked in things I'm trying to say about the book, and frankly, I'm a lot better at analyzing a range of other subjects, like football, art, and this stupid illness I have. That said, I love reading, and since it's what I spent some time doing yesterday, I will go ahead and tell you about this book.

So this book I'm reading, Les Illusions Perdues, is by Balzac, a French writer. I mentioned I was reading this a while back. Anyways, this book is freakin' great, not exactly a happy happy story... The novel takes place around the 1830's... the story is about a talented young poet. This guy is from the countryside, and he moves to Paris to try and make it as a poet, he is full of idealism and the hope of creating beautiful works.

Well, so far he has squandered his talent, mostly because he forgets about working on his art, he gets enamored with the idea of money and fame (and the fine ladies that go along with that fame!). Haha, anyways, he gets into journalism, sees it as his opportunity to make a name for himself, but he basically becomes a gun for hire, renting out his services to the highest bidder, writing whatever people want him to write. He gets manipulated every which way by all sorts of people, which so far has really screwed him over.

I'm kinda hoping for a miracle, I'm at a point in the novel where he's at death's door, he has no money, his family has no money (eh, this is kinda his fault!), but I'm still cheering for him to pull it out, he's not such a bad guy (he just has no backbone, well, that kind of is a major fault!), I hope he can recover and get back to writing 'real' things... Most of all, I'm hoping he can make it through so that he can get some sweet sweet revenge on the people that screwed him over! There's still 200 pages left, so I'm optimistic that there's hope for this young poet (if those last 200 pages are full of revenge, I will be so happy!). Actually, a major reason for his downfall was his lust for revenge against a former lover and her new aristocratic asshole of a boyfriend (thus making my excitement over his getting revenge somewhat silly and ironic!). Nonetheless, in spite of the author's seeming anti-revenge stance, I'm still cheering for the poet to get revenge.