Who I'm Angry at Today

I'll tell you who. Rabbits, at least those in my yard. Seemingly amazing due to their fluffilicious cuddly bodies and long carved out torpedo ears, I have come to the conclusion that they are wily and mean-spirited.

My dog is a grizzled old German Shepherd, he is aging, and due to hip problems can no longer give the proper chase after smarmy little rabbits. My dog must suffer the indignation and humiliation of eating his dinner outside, whilst those cute little bunny rabbits not 10 yards away peacefully chew on his grass. As those rabbits eye him, I can see the big fat grins written all over their faces, basking in the knowledge that my dog can't get them, and they just rub it in, not even attempting to move a kindly distance away. My poor dog sadly eyes their tasty little bodies. He shifts his gaze up at me, his eyes imploring me to do something.

Resolving the situation: I've read up on my international diplomacy. Here's how you recover something you claim is your's but someone else usurps. It's a 2 pronged plan of attack. First you garner support for sanctions, in this case, we enlist our neighbors and all those in the community to shore up their fences. Second part is a bit more surreptitious, it involves the enlistment of a 3rd party guerrilla group(my neighbor's golden retrievers) to either A) take those bunnies out of commission or B) scare the daylights out of those fluffy creatures so that they never come back again.

Voila, and I didn't even take about weapons of mass destruction.