I Say 'HAPPY THANKSGIVING!' I Give a Thank You to You, and I Talk About Cereal Killers

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'd like to briefly thank to all of you who visit my site, and thank you for all your wonderful sites, your great comments, and just being incredibly maaah-vaaaalous overall. As most of you know, it's been a very hard year for me, but blogging has made the journey through this illness so much easier! I can't quite explain how important blogging has been to me, but it's made up for my inability to see people outside of my house in a way that I never could have imagined (I, uh, just hope it doesn't permanently replace seeing 'real' people, haha!, lord knows I'm disconnected enough as it is!).

In other notes, today is an important day because we as humans strike a huge collective blow to the evil turkeys. We've been pushed around and manipulated long enough, and I'm so happy to see, that for at least one day of the year, we massively butcher these evil, dare I say nefarious, blood sucking, bank account draining, rocket launcher toting turkeys. I even have a gut feeling that these turkeys have been working in tandem with the CIA, the KGB, big oil companies (by default they are included in my evil conspirators list), the health care industry, Paris Hilton, and the true evil masterminds behind world domination, the duckbill platypuses. Ok, I'm not going to go into it right now, I can really get going on the duckbill conspiracy...(It's funny, I never get sick of demonizing random things!)

To further make amends for all the cuteness I've put up lately on this site... I'm posting a super scary link, it's all about Cereal Killers. Please, I know it's gruesome and difficult to handle, but I have to atone for the cute overload.

Good Things Plus I Go On a Huge Tangent About How My Grandfather Saved the Eiffel Tower (TRUE STORY!)

Hey, never a bad idea to think about good things! Here's a quick list of things that are good in my life, in no particular order...

1. Getting a new dog of course!!!! Who by the way, is sooooooooooo sweet, so gentle, and truly a kind spirit (or so I hope!). He did try to eat some of my books today, I quietly showed him to my sister's room. I told him I'd give him 3 milkbone if he tore the place up... He did a great job! Little Rambo's really living up to his name.

2. Seeing my sister!!!

3. My improving health (although it's still filled with ups and downs).

4. Seeing my grandmother! Who by the way, recounts all these really cool family stories. There are lots of war stories, funny stories, the story of my grandfather saving the Eiffel Tower (I know, you think I'm lying, but it's true!!!, I'll tell you about it some time, wait, I'll mention it now, he worked as an engineer on the Eiffel Tower, he discovered a bomb in the structure, actually in the bathroom, this was back in '58 or something when there was all those problems with Algeria, he brought the bomb down, bomb squad came, he got some really cool medals, got a picture and article of all this somewhere). My favorite story of my grandmother's is about how her eldest brother made a fortune in Brazil selling ostrich feathers!!! Hahaha, how awesome is that, I always tell her to tell me that story, now the only question is, where did all that money go!!!

Good news, my sister just sent me those pictures of our grandfather. Here you go, it's in French, but you probably get the gist. I never got to meet him, he passed away before I was born, would have loved to have known him!

Gilbert Triffoz (our grandfather) Working Way Up on the Eiffel Tower (eh, I guess he wasn't afraid of heights)

Article About Him and the BOMB!!!!

Won Some Medals...At Least That's What the Records Say!

Whew, okay, back to the list of more good things in my life.

5. Being blessed with a great family all around! (I feel like I always talk about this, but it's true!)

6. This book I'm reading is really excellent, although there's no drugs, sex, or violence in the story, which really kinda sucks, but the quality of the book makes up for that. Plus I watch a couple super violent movies to make up for the lack of it in the literature I'm reading. Things tend to even out that way.

7. I just saw a great movie today, Freaky Friday, much to my surprise it was really good! I laughed throughout, Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis were great, the script was well done, just superbly executed. My recommendation: See this if you haven't already!

8. Getting to draw! It's not as much as I'd like, and I still can't fully concentrate, but my good days are getting better! The bad periods are still tough, but it's a lot easier sucking it up when you can expect times where you feel well enough that you can create!

9. I ate a ton of raspberries today. Miam miam, love that stuff. Ok fine, I'll even admit I ate some chocolate, well, ok fine, lots of chocolate. It's just soooooo good, I'm weak like that.

10. Seeing friends who are going to be in town (hopefully I feel well enough). One friend has already promised to smoke crack with me during the XXX-mas holidays, she is sooo great! I punched my one way ticket to hell a long time ago, so I figure I might as well live it up!

In other notes: Two legendary figures have just passed away. The nobel prize winning economist Milton Friedman passed away not long ago, at the age of 94. Robert Altman, a wonderful director of films, including MASH, Short Cuts, Nashville just passed away the other day, he was 80 years old. It's very sad of course, but we are fortunate that they left us with amazing bodies of work that will stand for quite some time.

Guess WHAT!!!??

We got a dog! A little German Shepherd, his name is.... RAMBO!!! Haha, the family vetoed my choice, Pieceofpaper, but that's ok, I like this name. Wow, it's busy here, my 88 year old grandmother just flew in from France (I don't know how she does it!), my sister is coming in today, and there's a chance one of my buddies will be crashing here. Anyways, I can't resist throwing up a couple pictures of the new dog, I did a blur thing on one of the photos (don't ask me why, I just discovered the tool in photoshop...). Here is little Rambo, cute as can be, sleeping like a big fat little baby!

Getting a new dog is great, but all those feelings of missing my old dog have come flooding back. Sort of feels like I'm cheating on my girlfriend or something (not that I would ever do such a thing!). My last dog was with me during the worst times in my life, I could always find comfort lying down next to him during my most painful days... But what can you do, gotta just be happy with the fact we got a dog, and be thankful my previous dog left me with so many touching memories.

And don't worry, I will go back to posting things that aren't nearly as cute and maudlin very soon...

I'm feeling kinda sick, all this excitement, all this craziness, it's great, but I just gotta lie down for a while.

LOOK AT HIM!!! LOOK AT HIS AWESOMENESS!!!!!

Rusty the Narcoleptic Dog

I must admit that even I, from time to time, succumb to the occasional 'funny dog' or 'dog' search on youtube.

Here's something I found, I love this song, it's about Rusty the Narcoleptic Dog...

Here's another one, just a badly trained police dog, but at least he seems nice!

Working at the Factory. Plus Words and Phrases to Encourage Crazy Google Searches

The summer of 2001, that was a summer I'll always remember. It was the summer I worked in a factory making tail lights for cars like the Kangoo (seriously, I'd be embarrassed if I drove a car with that kind of name!), Range Rover, and Toyotas. It actually wasn't so bad. Now that I think about it, it was a lot like this...


I'm including the draft, kind of fun to compare pre and post photoshop I think. It's a busy scene, maybe too much, can't really distinguish one thing from another, but who cares!

Anyways, as you might guess, I've been feeling better the past couple days, since I'm able to do this stuff! The art I usually make (when I'm healthy) is sooo different, I paint from life, very detailed, realistic, all that jazz, I won't get into it for now because it's hard talking about something you can't do. All in due time, I'm just happy to be making something!

Words and phrases to encourage more crazy google searches:

• tyrannosaurus rex rapping about his mercedes benz
• mouse eating godzilla
• if a dinosaur watched porn, what kind of porn would he be into
• are politicians as evil as duckbill platypuses?
• a pomeranian (circus dog) tried to kill me
  
• does jesus like sauerkraut
• is steven segal stronger than sauerkraut
• how to steal a painting
• how to steal a car
• how to steal a chair
• guns are good for you
• rocket launchers should be legalized
• people getting high with their rocket launchers should be legalized
• we should legalize dangerous things
• basketball is the essence of life
• this lightbulb is the essence of life
• my carpet is the essence of life
• my mailbox exploded in my face
• should i name my dog 'pieceofpaper'
• should i name my dog 'lampontable'
• should i name my dog 'oldladydrivingacadillac'
• i ate all the medicine is that bad
• the scanner ate my face
  

I Can't Help Myself! Google Searches...

+

+


=

GOOGLE SEARCHES!

More on the wacky interesting ways people get to this site (sorry this just fascinates me, I'm like a cat with a ball of yarn, or maybe I should say, a cat on a bicycle...).

Searches include:

"what if Jesus said i have a headach"- That's not in the Bible?

"Bike Painting Scorpions"- I've never met a scorpion that couldn't paint. I also never thought of doing google searches while stoned, maybe this is the kind of stuff you think of?

"Can You Tell Me About the Duckbill Platypus"- Unfortunately these searches are becoming all too common, I think it's the main way people are finding me. Well, at least they will be fairly warned about the evilness of the duckbill platypus.

"duckbill platypus sting"- For real? I thought they were pretty harmless, after some serious research, I have learned that these creatures deliver a powerful sting, so powerful you won't be able to move your limbs for several days! Wow, the duckbill platypus just got bumped up a couple spots on my 'To Fear' list.

"duckbill platypus youtube fly"- Not sure what this means, although it implies the duckbill platypus has learned how to fly. We are all in big trouble if that is the case.

"sick cartoon bears"- I like cartoons, I like bears, not sure if I like sickness though...

"cat jumping on a bike"- The question is, can they pop a wheelie? Animals and bikes...seems to be a common theme on this blog? Well, I've realized I talk a lot about animals, and that's why I get these searches, I think.

"acupuncture fire steven segal"- Is that his new movie?

"think of the words to say i'd like to think that"- My method of google searches is generally a little more concise and to the point than this person's... Sebastien says, check the thesaurus.

"awesome house party Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends cheat code"- Ever since I posted that clip from the Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends show, I've been getting tons of searches for this cheat code. Must be pretty special.

The damnedest thing is, now that I've written this, I'm only going to engender a slew of similar searches. Akin to the famed snowball effect...

Let's All Join the Circus!

My Thoughts On Borat, And a Movie I'd Like To See

Quick Thoughts on Borat

I saw Borat this weekend with my dad. It was nice making it out of the house, I've really only been leaving to go to doctors' appointments! Anyways, the movie was pretty good, I thought it sort of lost steam about half way through, but I completely expected that. With this kind of movie, the schtick can get tiring, and although it never quite reaches that point, there are times where it gets a little boring. Overall there were some great scenes, stuff that made me laugh like I've never laughed before, and the same goes for my father, I think he was crying he was laughing so hard. I was really happy that Borat got a bear, it made me think about how we should all have pet bears. Not the vicious man eating bears, but domesticated unicyle riding bears (or is that just demeaning...).

The reason this movie is interesting, once you get past the mastery of improvisational comedy, is the fact that Borat unmasks people so quickly and effortlessly, showing what people think, what makes them tick, and what kind of wacky prejudices they harbor. I find it highly ironic that it was the government of Kazakhstan that complained so furiously over this film (did they ban it?), when the true target in terms of criticism is the US. We're lucky to live in a country where such a wacky, subversive?, sort of film can be made, and not only that, but make boatloads of money too!

Movie: District B13

I've seen videos of people doing Parkour, a sort of urban ballet where you try to pass obstacles in the fastest way possible, but I've never seen it integrated into a movie. This clip is from the movie District B13, some of the shots in this action sequence are astounding, I'd love to see how they set up the cameras, must've been tricky. Definitely going to have to rent this film.

I Really Love NPR

Tarantino meets the Care Bears....

Run for Your Lives!!!!

The monsters are coming!!!!

Wow, this really echoes the header I put up. Sorry, I hope all this violent stuff is just a phase. Who'm I kidding, I'm not sorry at all!

The Scorpion

I know you all might have wondered what I did with that scorpion that terrorized us so much we had hallucinations, seizures, psychedelic nightmares... actually it was all pretty cool stuff!

No, I didn't do the logical thing and throw him away, set him on fire, put him on my sister's chair... I'm keeping him in this black cup, saving him for what will become his tragic destiny...

I'm going to do a painting of him (once I'm better of course!). The painting will be called, "The Greatest Painting Ever Because This Is a Painting of the Crazy Scorpion That Tried to Kill Me But He Failed Miserably And I Killed Him Well Actually My Dad Killed Him Because Basically He Wasn't a Perfectly Evolved Apex Predator Like the Great White Shark Is So Now He's My Bitch." I'm still tweaking the title.

My Little Scorpy, as I affectionately call him now, lies quietly and unperturbed in serene solitude... I hope his brothers and sisters don't figure out what ignominious masterplans I hold for him, they are liable to go crazy on me and decide to sting me to oblivion as I sleep the sweet sleep of the truly innocent.

Here is a picture of the vault where My Little Scorpy rests in peace till I bust him out for the painting. (Note to self: Might want to find a more secure location for this thing...)

I'm Going to Be Candid With You, This Is About Memories and Illness (yawn, booorrriiinnnggg)

I've never been a nostalgic person, but being ill has certainly changed that a bit. There are times where my mind just wanders, where it haphazardly zeroes in on some past memories. These memories play out in my mind (uh, like where else are they gonna play out!), sometimes the memories are slightly edited (like that memory where I walk into a restaurant and get revenge on 15 mafioso types and crooked cops who tried to screw me...15 minutes later I walk out of the restaurant with a wry smile on my face, a couple bloodspots on my fancy shirt indicate a fight has taken place, a pool of blood flows out from under the door. Ahhh, those were the happy, halcyon days of yore!!!).

Sorry, I lost my line of thought, I just really get into that kickass Dirty Harryish memory I was telling you about. I really gave it to those bad guys.

Yes, our memories tend to fuzz up the details, but that's the nature of memories I guess, they shift and transform themselves depending on your mood and circumstances. Sometimes the memories are tough for me, it's a tough pill to swallow, remembering being healthy, remembering good times, sometimes even remembering the bad times can make me wistful for the bygone days where life wasn't limited by illness. At times when I feel really sick and I'm in pain, any and all memories are like acid, they eat up my insides in the most terrible gut wrenching ways...

It's been easier lately because I know I'm going to get better, before I felt so sick, the illness felt so endless, so insurmountable, the pain was excruciating... The memories just felt like distant mirages, cruel little vignettes that reminded me of what I once was, something I might never have again... And believe me, I'm still incredibly scared, I won't breathe easy until the day I'm back to my old self.

I truly believe whenever my illness is over I'll look back on this whole godforsaken period as a gift, a transformative period, an experience that broke me down and melted me all the way down to my core, only to transform me into a stronger and better element (don't you love corny metaphors!). Uhh, these are the things I tell myself at least, haha, how else can you get through such a difficult experience! But seriously, I feel like I've discovered strength within myself, strength I never imagined I had... and for that I am extremely thankful, this strength keeps my mind stable (yes, it really is in spite of what you might think!!!), keeps me optimistic, keeps me happy...

Anyways, although many of my friends/ family think this whole illness is a terrible trick played upon me, a sad unlucky experience for me to go through, I know in my heart that I am very lucky. I'm not the only one suffering, I don't have a monopoly on that, all I can do is do my best, find inspiration in any nook and cranny I can... And I never ever forget how blessed I am, with family and friends, with people that love me and that I love...

Moreover, my love of life has only increased because of this experience. My love of people, my family, friends, the world, I find myself with a deeper appreciation of lots of things (like violent movies especially). I'm thankful every day, I'm still alive, I'm going to get better, I've got a wonderful family, I might have a wonderful dog soon!, I think of the crazy amount of painting I'm going to do when I'm better, I think of visiting my grandparents in France, I think of riding my bike, I think of laughing with friends, I think of executing Rambo style revenge on all those people that dissed me while I was down (yes, some have taken cheap shots, those bastards! Actually I could care less what they think, I just have fun thinking of vendettas, they make me laugh), I think of freedom baby!

Rugby

Rugby is a rough sport (and the sky is blue). Now, I know not everyone has a sick penchant for violence, but you know, boys being boys... most of us need a certain quota of bone-jarring NFL/NHL/Rugby sports action. It's inexplicable, but hey, we don't have to explain our terrificly twisted, brutally bloody, sublimely sordid hobbies!

(I wouldn't let this post fool you, I'm really not as macho and violent as I might be coming across. Maybe I'm trying to pull the wool over your eyes so you don't realize how sensitive and sweet I am, so you don't realize I'm a peace-loving beatnik...)

Anyways, I got rugby on my mind because we get this French tv channel here, and they showed highlights of the French rugby team getting trounced by the All Blacks, New Zealand's team. They also showed the All Blacks doing their chant, the Haka, totally amazing! Doesn't get any more macho than this...

All Blacks doing the Haka!


All Blacks Commercial


All Blacks Highlights

A Song

How bout a fun happy song for Sunday...

SCORPION IN MY ROOM! AHHHHHHHHH!

Setting: Nightime. My bedroom. My dad is in my chair, I'm lying down on the floor (it's comfortable ok!!!), we are having a conversation about how much we want a dog.

Well, out of nowhere this scorpion appears. My dad noticed it right next to his foot, which wasn't far from where I was lying down. My dad jumps up and goes into crazy kill mode, while I'm still lying down just thinking he saw a cricket or something. Wham, bam, with a couple of righteous, put the fear of God into you smacks of my sketchbook (thanks pops!) my dad has killed the scorpion.

Did I say I loved all animals in my last post? Uhhhh, you can 'x' that out, because I most certainly don't love scorpions. After the snake incident just outside my room, it's wonderful luck that we now find a scorpion in my room, which also leads to this logical conclusion: If there's one scorpion in my room there's probably more...

Hmmm, I have a feeling sleep will be a bit more difficult tonight. Please, wish me luck, so that I may make it through the perilous night intact. Godamn it, there's also those monsters in the closet!!! I can handle them, but when there's scorpions too, well... I guess I got my hands full, to say the least.

Look, I know you find me sexy Mr. Scorpion, and that is why you are in my room at this time of night, but I will most certainly not make out with you!

Something Incredible and Amazing Might Happen Soon

We (breathe, breathe) might... be .... getting a .... DOG!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm sooooo excited, I can't breathe right, I can't see straight. It's not for sure, but just thinking about it makes me go crazy!!!!!

We know that if we do get another dog it'll be a German Shepherd, like the previous two dogs we've had. I'm trying not to pressure my parents at all, I want them to decide for themselves if they want another dog, ultimately I'll be moving out once I'm better... but having a dog, how wonderful would that be!!!

Look, here's a picture of a potential dog we might get:


How cute! How adorable is he??? By the way, if you didn't realize this already, I love animals (yes even the ones I fear), but dogs are my favorite of all!

Firefox Is Frustrating Me, Blogger Is Frustrating Me, But Google Searches Make Me Happy

I'll start this off with something fun (that of course, is very subjective!). Google searches of how people get to your site, they can be pretty funny. Naturally, I get a lot of people searching 'chronically sick,' and all that jazz.

Well, I've started getting some different ones lately:

• 'what does a dead leave look like on the big fat awsome house party on fosters home for imagenary friends' : The answer is I have no freakin' clue. And why or how you came to my site looking for the answer to this, it's completely baffling, but quite marvelous I suppose.
• 'violent mouvies' : Well, I do talk about violent movies a lot. Maybe the demographic of my readers is extremely young and they can't spell???
• 'meow mis meow mix. i want meow mix' : Another spelling error, but I have to credit the searcher for their passion for meow mix. Can't fault anyone for loving the meow mix.
• 'rotting body photoshop tutorial' : I felt guilty for this one, why haven't I done a post explaining how to do this. How else can you make effective zombies?
• 'pictures of baby duckbill platypus' : I feel bad for this. This person WAS probably a duckbill platypus lover, and visiting my site probably crushed all their sweet illusions. I hope that person wasn't too disheartened when they found out how terrible and nefarious a creature the platypus truly is. The truth ain't always pretty.
• 'weird sex pictures' : I think that was the first sex search that I've had. I don't think I've posted any weird sex pictures, I really don't think I have.

Firefox and Blogger: I Pray For Your Sake That You Start Cooperating

Oh Firefox, why must you anger me so. You don't want to open, you freeze up and don't let me post comments, or maybe that part is blogger's fault. I don't freakin know. It's so hard to tell what's wrong in the computer universe. I'm not a computer expert, but I'll tell you what I'm gonna do if this chicanery continues...

My lovely next door neighbor has a double barrelled shotgun, and since I've been watching lots of sadistic violent movies lately, I probably can figure out how to use it. Firefox, and you too blogger, you are both going to be staring down the barrel of the shotgun, and you better pray that you start working, because if you don't, your guts are going to be plastered along the wall behind my desk, in a nice modern art Jackson Pollock sort of way. Toodaloo, I'm off to the neighbors!

Actual picture of a FIREFOX(Red Panda)! I want one so bad!

Why Being a Politician Pays Off, Sports Talk, and a Roadrunner Story

Politics

You know why you become a politician? Because of this, it's all about the money baby! You know what I would eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner if I were a super rich politician? I know you're thinking it... the answer is MONEY, MONEY, MONEY! I particularly like the taste of the $100 bills, and the $2 bill is also noteworthy for the sweet taste it leaves on the palate. Quite maaarvaahlous really! Although that sweet taste could just be cocaine residue, I really don't know...

Anyways, I've really loaded up on politics lately and I don't feel the need to spill any cyber ink on the subject (note: I'm happy to see a balanced government!). I will give you one prediction: Iraq gets partitioned, no other way that country is going to work out. And you can take that to the bank.

Sports

I promised sports talk. Well, as my Arizona Cardinals continue finding ingenious and egregious ways of losing, my love for them only increases. Weird, no? As for the Suns, they have yet to win a game, yet for me, all with that team is forgiven, because they have a French player, Boris Diaw! I really hope Stoudemire can recover from his knee problems, but I truly doubt he can regain the explosiveness that made him one of the most fearsome players in the league, it's going to be one of those sad, coulda shoulda been Bo Jacksonish kinda things.

As for a thing of beauty, I recommend watching the Colts' offense, Peyton Manning is razor sharp, it's as close to artistic as the NFL gets.

Roadrunner Siting!

A roadrunner almost came in the house the other day. I haven't seen a roadrunner in ages (maybe it's because my dog always tried to eat them!). Very funny creatures, I really like them, although the cartoon version really annoyed me, I really wish Wiley had knocked the 'meep meep' out of that smug bastard.

Need Celebrity News? Need Bill of Rights Info?

I know that you answered no to those questions. Nonetheless, I will provide you the information you do not need.

Celebrity News

I haven't been keeping up with the celebrity news lately, and I think I'm starting to suffer some wicked side effects from the withdrawal. Fortunately I was able to temper the side effects when I discovered this post on Lindsay Lohan. I like the interview she gives, she's quite honest about sleeping around, I don't think there's anything wrong with that... buuuut since it's Lindsay Lohan we better chastise her for such libertine Hollywoodized values.

And what is up with Paris, I haven't heard anything from her since she released her album. Is she in exile? Well, I do honestly hope Paris is ok, she's one of the few people who consistently makes me laugh. Wait a sec, here's something, oh, she made up with Nicole... That is so not scandalous. Booooorrringggggg.

Whoah, I don't know if I'm way behind the curve but I just found out that Britney is divorcing K-fed! I hope it's true, sure is about time. The only problem now is how is K-fed going to finance his awful but inadvertently hilarious music...

Election Stuff

Well, I hope in voting today you found an ingenious way to cheat the system (the new electronic voting machines seem to offer a wonderful opportunity to the tech savvy) and make sure your candidate won. Winning is the crux of the system, and if you don't do what you can do to make sure your guy wins, by ANY means necessary, well, I'm going to say that you shirked your patriotic duties, and frankly, you're probably a commie liberal who should move to Europe if you're not willing to cheat to win. If some commie liberal (likely a Democrat) gives you shit for trying to cheat, reference Machiavelli and punch the guy in the face.

Hmmm... About the Bill of Rights, since it's Election day I want to provide this link, it's never a bad idea to brush up on your knowledge of the US government.

Ali G

Oh, how I love this clip! That poor veterinarian, he doesn't understand the deliberate incompetence that is Ali G. Anyone seen the Borat movie?