I Can't Help Myself! Google Searches...

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GOOGLE SEARCHES!

More on the wacky interesting ways people get to this site (sorry this just fascinates me, I'm like a cat with a ball of yarn, or maybe I should say, a cat on a bicycle...).

Searches include:

"what if Jesus said i have a headach"- That's not in the Bible?

"Bike Painting Scorpions"- I've never met a scorpion that couldn't paint. I also never thought of doing google searches while stoned, maybe this is the kind of stuff you think of?

"Can You Tell Me About the Duckbill Platypus"- Unfortunately these searches are becoming all too common, I think it's the main way people are finding me. Well, at least they will be fairly warned about the evilness of the duckbill platypus.

"duckbill platypus sting"- For real? I thought they were pretty harmless, after some serious research, I have learned that these creatures deliver a powerful sting, so powerful you won't be able to move your limbs for several days! Wow, the duckbill platypus just got bumped up a couple spots on my 'To Fear' list.

"duckbill platypus youtube fly"- Not sure what this means, although it implies the duckbill platypus has learned how to fly. We are all in big trouble if that is the case.

"sick cartoon bears"- I like cartoons, I like bears, not sure if I like sickness though...

"cat jumping on a bike"- The question is, can they pop a wheelie? Animals and bikes...seems to be a common theme on this blog? Well, I've realized I talk a lot about animals, and that's why I get these searches, I think.

"acupuncture fire steven segal"- Is that his new movie?

"think of the words to say i'd like to think that"- My method of google searches is generally a little more concise and to the point than this person's... Sebastien says, check the thesaurus.

"awesome house party Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends cheat code"- Ever since I posted that clip from the Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends show, I've been getting tons of searches for this cheat code. Must be pretty special.

The damnedest thing is, now that I've written this, I'm only going to engender a slew of similar searches. Akin to the famed snowball effect...

Let's All Join the Circus!

My Thoughts On Borat, And a Movie I'd Like To See

Quick Thoughts on Borat

I saw Borat this weekend with my dad. It was nice making it out of the house, I've really only been leaving to go to doctors' appointments! Anyways, the movie was pretty good, I thought it sort of lost steam about half way through, but I completely expected that. With this kind of movie, the schtick can get tiring, and although it never quite reaches that point, there are times where it gets a little boring. Overall there were some great scenes, stuff that made me laugh like I've never laughed before, and the same goes for my father, I think he was crying he was laughing so hard. I was really happy that Borat got a bear, it made me think about how we should all have pet bears. Not the vicious man eating bears, but domesticated unicyle riding bears (or is that just demeaning...).

The reason this movie is interesting, once you get past the mastery of improvisational comedy, is the fact that Borat unmasks people so quickly and effortlessly, showing what people think, what makes them tick, and what kind of wacky prejudices they harbor. I find it highly ironic that it was the government of Kazakhstan that complained so furiously over this film (did they ban it?), when the true target in terms of criticism is the US. We're lucky to live in a country where such a wacky, subversive?, sort of film can be made, and not only that, but make boatloads of money too!

Movie: District B13

I've seen videos of people doing Parkour, a sort of urban ballet where you try to pass obstacles in the fastest way possible, but I've never seen it integrated into a movie. This clip is from the movie District B13, some of the shots in this action sequence are astounding, I'd love to see how they set up the cameras, must've been tricky. Definitely going to have to rent this film.

I Really Love NPR

Tarantino meets the Care Bears....

Run for Your Lives!!!!

The monsters are coming!!!!

Wow, this really echoes the header I put up. Sorry, I hope all this violent stuff is just a phase. Who'm I kidding, I'm not sorry at all!

The Scorpion

I know you all might have wondered what I did with that scorpion that terrorized us so much we had hallucinations, seizures, psychedelic nightmares... actually it was all pretty cool stuff!

No, I didn't do the logical thing and throw him away, set him on fire, put him on my sister's chair... I'm keeping him in this black cup, saving him for what will become his tragic destiny...

I'm going to do a painting of him (once I'm better of course!). The painting will be called, "The Greatest Painting Ever Because This Is a Painting of the Crazy Scorpion That Tried to Kill Me But He Failed Miserably And I Killed Him Well Actually My Dad Killed Him Because Basically He Wasn't a Perfectly Evolved Apex Predator Like the Great White Shark Is So Now He's My Bitch." I'm still tweaking the title.

My Little Scorpy, as I affectionately call him now, lies quietly and unperturbed in serene solitude... I hope his brothers and sisters don't figure out what ignominious masterplans I hold for him, they are liable to go crazy on me and decide to sting me to oblivion as I sleep the sweet sleep of the truly innocent.

Here is a picture of the vault where My Little Scorpy rests in peace till I bust him out for the painting. (Note to self: Might want to find a more secure location for this thing...)

I'm Going to Be Candid With You, This Is About Memories and Illness (yawn, booorrriiinnnggg)

I've never been a nostalgic person, but being ill has certainly changed that a bit. There are times where my mind just wanders, where it haphazardly zeroes in on some past memories. These memories play out in my mind (uh, like where else are they gonna play out!), sometimes the memories are slightly edited (like that memory where I walk into a restaurant and get revenge on 15 mafioso types and crooked cops who tried to screw me...15 minutes later I walk out of the restaurant with a wry smile on my face, a couple bloodspots on my fancy shirt indicate a fight has taken place, a pool of blood flows out from under the door. Ahhh, those were the happy, halcyon days of yore!!!).

Sorry, I lost my line of thought, I just really get into that kickass Dirty Harryish memory I was telling you about. I really gave it to those bad guys.

Yes, our memories tend to fuzz up the details, but that's the nature of memories I guess, they shift and transform themselves depending on your mood and circumstances. Sometimes the memories are tough for me, it's a tough pill to swallow, remembering being healthy, remembering good times, sometimes even remembering the bad times can make me wistful for the bygone days where life wasn't limited by illness. At times when I feel really sick and I'm in pain, any and all memories are like acid, they eat up my insides in the most terrible gut wrenching ways...

It's been easier lately because I know I'm going to get better, before I felt so sick, the illness felt so endless, so insurmountable, the pain was excruciating... The memories just felt like distant mirages, cruel little vignettes that reminded me of what I once was, something I might never have again... And believe me, I'm still incredibly scared, I won't breathe easy until the day I'm back to my old self.

I truly believe whenever my illness is over I'll look back on this whole godforsaken period as a gift, a transformative period, an experience that broke me down and melted me all the way down to my core, only to transform me into a stronger and better element (don't you love corny metaphors!). Uhh, these are the things I tell myself at least, haha, how else can you get through such a difficult experience! But seriously, I feel like I've discovered strength within myself, strength I never imagined I had... and for that I am extremely thankful, this strength keeps my mind stable (yes, it really is in spite of what you might think!!!), keeps me optimistic, keeps me happy...

Anyways, although many of my friends/ family think this whole illness is a terrible trick played upon me, a sad unlucky experience for me to go through, I know in my heart that I am very lucky. I'm not the only one suffering, I don't have a monopoly on that, all I can do is do my best, find inspiration in any nook and cranny I can... And I never ever forget how blessed I am, with family and friends, with people that love me and that I love...

Moreover, my love of life has only increased because of this experience. My love of people, my family, friends, the world, I find myself with a deeper appreciation of lots of things (like violent movies especially). I'm thankful every day, I'm still alive, I'm going to get better, I've got a wonderful family, I might have a wonderful dog soon!, I think of the crazy amount of painting I'm going to do when I'm better, I think of visiting my grandparents in France, I think of riding my bike, I think of laughing with friends, I think of executing Rambo style revenge on all those people that dissed me while I was down (yes, some have taken cheap shots, those bastards! Actually I could care less what they think, I just have fun thinking of vendettas, they make me laugh), I think of freedom baby!

Rugby

Rugby is a rough sport (and the sky is blue). Now, I know not everyone has a sick penchant for violence, but you know, boys being boys... most of us need a certain quota of bone-jarring NFL/NHL/Rugby sports action. It's inexplicable, but hey, we don't have to explain our terrificly twisted, brutally bloody, sublimely sordid hobbies!

(I wouldn't let this post fool you, I'm really not as macho and violent as I might be coming across. Maybe I'm trying to pull the wool over your eyes so you don't realize how sensitive and sweet I am, so you don't realize I'm a peace-loving beatnik...)

Anyways, I got rugby on my mind because we get this French tv channel here, and they showed highlights of the French rugby team getting trounced by the All Blacks, New Zealand's team. They also showed the All Blacks doing their chant, the Haka, totally amazing! Doesn't get any more macho than this...

All Blacks doing the Haka!


All Blacks Commercial


All Blacks Highlights

A Song

How bout a fun happy song for Sunday...

SCORPION IN MY ROOM! AHHHHHHHHH!

Setting: Nightime. My bedroom. My dad is in my chair, I'm lying down on the floor (it's comfortable ok!!!), we are having a conversation about how much we want a dog.

Well, out of nowhere this scorpion appears. My dad noticed it right next to his foot, which wasn't far from where I was lying down. My dad jumps up and goes into crazy kill mode, while I'm still lying down just thinking he saw a cricket or something. Wham, bam, with a couple of righteous, put the fear of God into you smacks of my sketchbook (thanks pops!) my dad has killed the scorpion.

Did I say I loved all animals in my last post? Uhhhh, you can 'x' that out, because I most certainly don't love scorpions. After the snake incident just outside my room, it's wonderful luck that we now find a scorpion in my room, which also leads to this logical conclusion: If there's one scorpion in my room there's probably more...

Hmmm, I have a feeling sleep will be a bit more difficult tonight. Please, wish me luck, so that I may make it through the perilous night intact. Godamn it, there's also those monsters in the closet!!! I can handle them, but when there's scorpions too, well... I guess I got my hands full, to say the least.

Look, I know you find me sexy Mr. Scorpion, and that is why you are in my room at this time of night, but I will most certainly not make out with you!

Something Incredible and Amazing Might Happen Soon

We (breathe, breathe) might... be .... getting a .... DOG!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm sooooo excited, I can't breathe right, I can't see straight. It's not for sure, but just thinking about it makes me go crazy!!!!!

We know that if we do get another dog it'll be a German Shepherd, like the previous two dogs we've had. I'm trying not to pressure my parents at all, I want them to decide for themselves if they want another dog, ultimately I'll be moving out once I'm better... but having a dog, how wonderful would that be!!!

Look, here's a picture of a potential dog we might get:


How cute! How adorable is he??? By the way, if you didn't realize this already, I love animals (yes even the ones I fear), but dogs are my favorite of all!

Firefox Is Frustrating Me, Blogger Is Frustrating Me, But Google Searches Make Me Happy

I'll start this off with something fun (that of course, is very subjective!). Google searches of how people get to your site, they can be pretty funny. Naturally, I get a lot of people searching 'chronically sick,' and all that jazz.

Well, I've started getting some different ones lately:

• 'what does a dead leave look like on the big fat awsome house party on fosters home for imagenary friends' : The answer is I have no freakin' clue. And why or how you came to my site looking for the answer to this, it's completely baffling, but quite marvelous I suppose.
• 'violent mouvies' : Well, I do talk about violent movies a lot. Maybe the demographic of my readers is extremely young and they can't spell???
• 'meow mis meow mix. i want meow mix' : Another spelling error, but I have to credit the searcher for their passion for meow mix. Can't fault anyone for loving the meow mix.
• 'rotting body photoshop tutorial' : I felt guilty for this one, why haven't I done a post explaining how to do this. How else can you make effective zombies?
• 'pictures of baby duckbill platypus' : I feel bad for this. This person WAS probably a duckbill platypus lover, and visiting my site probably crushed all their sweet illusions. I hope that person wasn't too disheartened when they found out how terrible and nefarious a creature the platypus truly is. The truth ain't always pretty.
• 'weird sex pictures' : I think that was the first sex search that I've had. I don't think I've posted any weird sex pictures, I really don't think I have.

Firefox and Blogger: I Pray For Your Sake That You Start Cooperating

Oh Firefox, why must you anger me so. You don't want to open, you freeze up and don't let me post comments, or maybe that part is blogger's fault. I don't freakin know. It's so hard to tell what's wrong in the computer universe. I'm not a computer expert, but I'll tell you what I'm gonna do if this chicanery continues...

My lovely next door neighbor has a double barrelled shotgun, and since I've been watching lots of sadistic violent movies lately, I probably can figure out how to use it. Firefox, and you too blogger, you are both going to be staring down the barrel of the shotgun, and you better pray that you start working, because if you don't, your guts are going to be plastered along the wall behind my desk, in a nice modern art Jackson Pollock sort of way. Toodaloo, I'm off to the neighbors!

Actual picture of a FIREFOX(Red Panda)! I want one so bad!

Why Being a Politician Pays Off, Sports Talk, and a Roadrunner Story

Politics

You know why you become a politician? Because of this, it's all about the money baby! You know what I would eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner if I were a super rich politician? I know you're thinking it... the answer is MONEY, MONEY, MONEY! I particularly like the taste of the $100 bills, and the $2 bill is also noteworthy for the sweet taste it leaves on the palate. Quite maaarvaahlous really! Although that sweet taste could just be cocaine residue, I really don't know...

Anyways, I've really loaded up on politics lately and I don't feel the need to spill any cyber ink on the subject (note: I'm happy to see a balanced government!). I will give you one prediction: Iraq gets partitioned, no other way that country is going to work out. And you can take that to the bank.

Sports

I promised sports talk. Well, as my Arizona Cardinals continue finding ingenious and egregious ways of losing, my love for them only increases. Weird, no? As for the Suns, they have yet to win a game, yet for me, all with that team is forgiven, because they have a French player, Boris Diaw! I really hope Stoudemire can recover from his knee problems, but I truly doubt he can regain the explosiveness that made him one of the most fearsome players in the league, it's going to be one of those sad, coulda shoulda been Bo Jacksonish kinda things.

As for a thing of beauty, I recommend watching the Colts' offense, Peyton Manning is razor sharp, it's as close to artistic as the NFL gets.

Roadrunner Siting!

A roadrunner almost came in the house the other day. I haven't seen a roadrunner in ages (maybe it's because my dog always tried to eat them!). Very funny creatures, I really like them, although the cartoon version really annoyed me, I really wish Wiley had knocked the 'meep meep' out of that smug bastard.

Need Celebrity News? Need Bill of Rights Info?

I know that you answered no to those questions. Nonetheless, I will provide you the information you do not need.

Celebrity News

I haven't been keeping up with the celebrity news lately, and I think I'm starting to suffer some wicked side effects from the withdrawal. Fortunately I was able to temper the side effects when I discovered this post on Lindsay Lohan. I like the interview she gives, she's quite honest about sleeping around, I don't think there's anything wrong with that... buuuut since it's Lindsay Lohan we better chastise her for such libertine Hollywoodized values.

And what is up with Paris, I haven't heard anything from her since she released her album. Is she in exile? Well, I do honestly hope Paris is ok, she's one of the few people who consistently makes me laugh. Wait a sec, here's something, oh, she made up with Nicole... That is so not scandalous. Booooorrringggggg.

Whoah, I don't know if I'm way behind the curve but I just found out that Britney is divorcing K-fed! I hope it's true, sure is about time. The only problem now is how is K-fed going to finance his awful but inadvertently hilarious music...

Election Stuff

Well, I hope in voting today you found an ingenious way to cheat the system (the new electronic voting machines seem to offer a wonderful opportunity to the tech savvy) and make sure your candidate won. Winning is the crux of the system, and if you don't do what you can do to make sure your guy wins, by ANY means necessary, well, I'm going to say that you shirked your patriotic duties, and frankly, you're probably a commie liberal who should move to Europe if you're not willing to cheat to win. If some commie liberal (likely a Democrat) gives you shit for trying to cheat, reference Machiavelli and punch the guy in the face.

Hmmm... About the Bill of Rights, since it's Election day I want to provide this link, it's never a bad idea to brush up on your knowledge of the US government.

Ali G

Oh, how I love this clip! That poor veterinarian, he doesn't understand the deliberate incompetence that is Ali G. Anyone seen the Borat movie?

Actual Footage of the Dastardly Duckbill Platypus And A Couple More Words on the Duckbill Platypus Threat (Can You Tell I'm Bored?)

I watched too much football yesterday. My mind is full of garbled football lexicon. Cover 2, nickel this, dime that, stop the run, flattened like a pancake, out route, draw play, slot back, bootleg...

Football hangover isn't the only thing scrambling my brain today. The evilness of the duckbill platypus is still haunting my thoughts, slowly pushing me over the precipice to insanity.

Take a look at the video I posted at the end, the duckbill platypus looks so innocent and cute, but behind that fluffy little exterior lurks the soul of a sadistic killer, the mind of a madman, the chaotic yet crackerjack thinking of one seriously deranged power hungry beast.

If I feel well enough later, I will enlighten you with my story on the secret deal between George Bush and the duckbill platypuses, and how this deal has compromised our national security. This sad and frightening story of greed, deceit, and corruption stretches back to the Carter administration, and involves a slew of high powered politicians, fat cat (cue meow mix song) businessmen, tyrannical dictators, usurious bankers, fiendish used car salesmen, trigger happy KGB, CIA, NSA, FBI types, terrorists, arms dealers, the porno industry, the people who make Hello Kitty products, not to mention many murderous mafioso types.

The threat of the duckbill platypus is known by few, yet it hangs over the head of humans as a collective, looming like the sword of Damocles...

Please note, this video is not suitable for children.

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

This entry concerns my concerns on the evil machinations of the duckbill platypus. I've been very puzzled on the subject of this creature. It keeps me up late at night, I thrash and turn in my bed, beads of sweat roll down my trembling forehead as I agonize over this painfully difficult conundrum. Sleep will continue to elude me so long as I do not have a concrete understanding of the duckbill platypus and its motives.

I can't quite figure out whether the duckbill platypus is the most ingenious creature ever, with an intellect so strong as to be on par with Einstein's. Or, is this creature not perhaps the most amazingly hilarious, dreadfully dolefully dim-witted living thing on God's green (uh, probably not so green anymore) earth, and has it duped us into believing it is the greatest thing ever?

Some experts even say this creature is planning to take over the world! These people believe the duckbill platypus wants to usurp our position and grab the reins to power, and create a worldwide duckbill platypus hegemony!

Do you believe the duckbill platypus to be as magnificently malevolently marvelous yet damningly devious as some say, or do you believe it is a ruse, meant to trick us and manipulate our innocent psyches?

If this post made any sense to you, I worry about your sanity, as for my own sanity, not a shred of it is left. Well, I need to go find that 'To Fear' list of mine, I gotta add the duckbill platypus.

P.S. I will be presenting more evidence on the evilness of duckbill platypuses in the days to follow.

Hornets From Hell, a Letter From Japan, and the Hanshin Tigers

I wasn't feeling very well yesterday but I felt so much better because of two things:


First off, I saw part of this show on tv, it was called 'Hornet's From Hell.' Any show that helps expand my ludicrous fears of hornets has to be great. And sure enough, this show was classic. It was filmed in a horror movie like manner, making these hornets seem incredibly evil and demonic. Look, being melodramatic and sensationalist, all in the name of frightening the crap out of the public, that's what I call great entertainment while also serving the public interest. I'm sorry to report that I didn't make it through the hornets of hell extravaganza, it was on late at night and I just faded too quickly... I just hope that the people in charge of the tv world are smart enough to rebroadcast this miraculous, marvellously insane, fear-inducing show.

Anyways, it just so happens that these giant hellacious hornets from hell are from Japan. And guess what...

Yesterday I got a letter from Japan! How cool is that? There is nothing better than getting a letter from a friend, even moreso if it's from somewhere like Japan. I'm going to mail my friend something very specific, hopefully they like it. I can't give it away in this post because I don't want to spoil the surprise for my friend.

Another note, relating to Japan. My new favorite hat is this Hanshin Tigers baseball cap I recently dug up from my closet. Someday I will reveal the secret as to how and why I own a Hanshin Tigers baseball cap, but for now I will leave you in the darkness of mystery.

Changes...

Ok, I messed around with the template and widened the main content and also widened the sidebar a bit. Do you guys think it looks ok, or does it make the page seem cluttered? (I changed it back from the feedback I got! Thanks!)

Another thing I'd like to do is add categories, but it seems incredibly complex with blogger.

Anyways, if anyone has suggestions for changes or things I could try out in terms of layout, design, anything really, let me know.

5 Things That I Pass the Time With

• Playing my harmonica, although I technically have no idea what I'm doing, it's soooo relaxing. For those of you that know me personally, it's probably pretty funny picturing me playing a harmonica! I just imagine that I'm like Charles Bronson in Once Upon a Time in the West, he's very cool playing that harmonica. Then he systematically blows people away. Come on, harmonica plus crazy gunfights, tack that up there as another combination you just gotta love.

• I started a new book by Balzac, only this one is one super piggy wiggy of a book, 700 pages with small type. All I can say is this, it had better be good, or else I'm going to hunt that writer down and beat the crap out of him for wasting my time. Ohhh, but you say he's dead, do you? No problem. Did I mention that I CAN see dead people (I also can see monsters and ghosts and flying rabbits), so if his book disappoints, I WILL be able to track him down and lay a proper beatdown down.

• In my better moments I'm able to draw little whimsical cartoony things. It is immensely fun and really works my imagination. It tends to exhaust me, and I can't get too detailed. I do it when I feel up to it, and fortunately, this is more often than before!

• Watching NBA Basketball and the NFL on tv. I remember my highschool days, how I wished I could watch football on Sundays, but I always had a million school things to do that would prevent me from enjoying some thrilling NFL violence. Since I've been sick I've been afforded the opportunity to fill my heart's desires with NFL football, sure, being so sick is a high price to pay to be able to watch football... but hey, at least I'm getting something out of this illness, right? Same goes for the NBA, at least I have something to pass the time with, something that fascinates me in some inexplicable magical way. Sports make no sense, and yet, they do... Go figure.

• I love thinking about all the plans, goals, and various things I want to do when I'm better. Imagining being better is probably the key to actually being better. And having a lot of things to do when you're better serves as greater motivation to recover! Since my mind is feeling better, I can finally think about all the things I want to paint and draw, and things I want to do. I guess that's all very vague, but you know, I can't tell you all my secrets!!!

Rhadamanthine

Rhadamanthine, what the hell does that mean right? Well, maybe you already knew it, but I just learned it. I challenge you to use it in a conversation today, ummm, and with a straight face ok? I'll try it on someone today and report my findings.

Quick Thoughts on Walk the Line, and I Need Advice for Making T-Shirts and a Website

I Forgot

I forgot last night was the season opener for the NBA, and fortunately I missed it because the Phoenix Suns got picked apart by the Lakers. No sense drowning myself in alcohol and pills over this thing... Actually, it's really not a bad excuse to do some careless womanizing and mind blowing drugs. That creak you heard was me popping open my desk drawer where... Actually I can't tell you about that, since the government is watching me, don't want them hitting up my door in 20 minutes with their flashy badges, super sharp suits, fancy sunglass wearing, frowny looking faces. Not to mention the fact that they have guns... Cooooooollll, I love gun play...

Walk the Line

I did watch a movie I'd been meaning to see for a long time, Walk the Line, which was quite good, but you know, the stuff with all the drugs and everything, it was kinda sad to me, but it's good to know in the grand scheme of things everything turned out pretty ok for Johnny Cash. His music is really unbelievable, he's one of the few singers whose songs I can truly feel, they're very powerful. I'd like to see a movie made about him that spans a greater part of his career, something with a little more arc to it.

I did like Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash, thought he did a good job, takes some dedication to try and sing like Johnny Cash for a movie. I love that scar he has above his lip, don't know how he got it but I think it's pretty cool. I got this feeling he's probably a very intense person in real life.

Johnny Cash Singing 'Ring of Fire'

Can Anyone Give me Advice on Making a Website and T-Shirts

So, now that I've been starting to feel better I've been thinking about a couple of things I'd like to do. First major thing I need to do is set up a website for my art. Does anybody have any recommendations on the best way to get this done, I have a friend who's willing to do it, and not for much money, but I'm not sure he's very good at the design aspect. Also, once you have someone set up a site, is it easy to do your own updates, instead of having someone else do it for you? I already have the domain and everything, all I need is to set something up.

As for the t-shirts, I was thinking it'd be fun to make shirts with little monster characters. A good way of going about it seems something like this site, Printmojo, but I've never done anything like this, so if anyone has any advice on this let me know. The quality of the shirts is important to me. So, I don't know if I should get shirts printed locally or through the internet...

Foster's Home of Imaginary Friends

I am feeling great today. And I felt pretty good yesterday too! Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! I am soooooooooooooo happeeeee!!!

Anyways, this show is my favorite on tv, it has provided me with laughter even in the darkest and most painful moments of my illness. I just saw that a bunch of the episodes have been posted over on youtube, and I'd post the ones that I really like on my site, but I kinda feel guilty if I did that, does seem a little wrong doesn't it? Instead I'll post a short clip from the show. I've posted it before but you can never watch it too many times. This clip taught me how to get people to do what you want... Be as annoying as you can possibly be! Who says you can't learn important life lessons from cartoons???

Do You Fear The Government? and Quick Thoughts on Two Movies

Sure I'm covering ground that has been tread over and over again... but I think it's a thing you can't talk about enough.

Do you fear the government, or, in other words, do you trust your representatives? I think we all need to be watchful and informed, but then again, lives are so hectic these days that such a thing is easier said than done.

I just saw two movies that are pretty cynical on government, or at least worried about growing surveillance methods and the curbing of civil liberties. One was V for Vendetta and the other was Enemy of the State. Both were pretty decent, although I thought Enemy of the State was extremely good, I especially liked the fact that Jack Black, Seth Green, and Gene Hackman were in it. The suspense was perfectly orchestrated, you're on tenterhooks the whole time (and I love that!). I also loved the fact that Seth Green and Jack Black were working for the NSA in a covert op unit, I think that's hilarious. If it's guys like that spying and doing surveillance on us, I wouldn't sweat it too much. Oh, and sprinkled throughout the movie, a couple explosions here, a couple of car chases there, even a bit of gun play, and a finale punctuated by a marvelous bloodbath. As this movie further proves, for a good movie to reach the next level, it always needs a certain amount of ridiculous explosions and fiery gun play.

On to the thought provoking questions these two movies made me think about...

It's true that as technology gets more powerful, one individual can do more good and also exponentially more harm in one fell swoop than ever before. A lot will argue that civil liberties have to be curbed at least slightly to hedge our bets and decrease the likelihood that someone will be able to execute the use of increasingly powerful technologies against us. And by technologies I mean a variety of things, including nukes, diseases, stuff we haven't even thought of and don't want to think about!!

But of course, if the government is going to be in charge of our security, it is also very easy for the government to manipulate us with false information and fear, really something similar to all those future dystopias you read about in books and see in movies, like the two I mentioned above. So the question, to a large extent, is how much do you trust your government and its representatives, and how honest do you think they are in relaying information to the people. Do they manipulate us to gain more power? Are they assessing real threats and telling us the truth about the things we need to give up in order to be safer? Do some representatives have their head in the clouds, and not out of greed or egotism (or maybe because of those things), but just plain naivety not understand the extent of the threats?

What do you think? Are you cynical about how the government operates and uses its power?

Ok, I guess those are vague questions, I'll give you free pass to post any sort of wacky cracked out comment you want.

One Word For You: DOGS!!!

My parents and I dropped by a nearby church to check out the dogs up for adoption. Here's a couple pics. I especially like the second picture, cute how the pugs are vying for the little girl's attention. Anyways, it was nice getting out of the house, especially for something as fun as this!

Johnny Depp Is In Nightmare On Elm Street? What I Think About Balzac, and more on BEARS!!!!

Nightmare on Elm Street

As I watched Freddy Kruger do his slashing and bashing and whatever the hell he does I realized Depp was in this movie. Cool. Anyways, the movie is not very scary, I've been meaning to see it forever. I was severely disappointed with Kruger, he looks like an old man with a wussy glove. That's not hot. Damnit Paris...

Anyways, I just love movies that scare the crap out of me. I think a good dose of scary movies can only be good for you. Kinda like eating your vegetables.

Balzac, a Pretentious Writer You Need to Read

So, I started reading this book by Balzac, a French writer from the 19th century. It's called Le Pere Goriot, and it is excellent. Highly recommended, although I can tell it's not a happy story and the characters in this book are going to get severely punished by fate in one way or another. I'm more of a happy book kinda person, but suffering and tragedy can be interesting... or at least instructive I hope.

BEARS!!!

Ok, I did spend a lot of time in front of the tv today, I was pretty zonked (but no headaches!). Guess what I saw, a show on... BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! Bears are even more amazing than I ever imagined. Their sense of smell is so keen, something like 2100 times more sensitive than ours, 7 times more sensitive than a bloodhound. Crazy. The show talked about grizzlies, polar bears, black bears, brown bears, talked about every kind of bear I guess.

Anyways, tomorrow my mom and I are going to the church nearby to check out dogs that are up for adoption (we're just looking). I kinda wish we would adopt a black bear, they look soooo cute!!!

If you need further proof that bears will take over the world, here you go:

Good News on My Health

Well, I'm finally doing better with my health. The headaches have really subsided, so now my mind is feeling so much sharper, I can finally concentrate and focus on things like reading! Hopefully pretty soon I'll be able to hang out with people and do things, like leaving the freakin' house! I don't mean to get ahead of myself, I'm just thankful the nightmarish headaches have subsided, it feels like sweet sweet heaven.

I've still got a ways to go. My body is still somewhat fatigued, but I can really tell things are getting better! I just gotta keep resting, and staying focused on getting better. I KNOW I'm going to be back to my old self!

I feel like posting a fun song... Puffy Amiyumi's v.a.c.a.t.i.o.n.

Story About a Bear on a Pole, Includes a Happy Ending, But This Doesn't Take Place at the Strip Club

I was really shocked when I saw this video clip. I'm not going to lie, I was so sad for what happened to the bear I thought I was going to cry (I didn't though, look look, no tears in MY eyes, whew, that was close, don't want everybody thinking I'm some overgrown crybaby!). The bear looked so scared and confused, I kept whispering to myself,"Come on buddy, come on, you can get out of this bind. Please. Puuhhhleaaazze just climb down to safety." Then the inevitable happened, the poor bear gets electrocuted and falls to the ground. At that moment I felt sad and guilty for seeing the video, I don't like seeing tragic things. But the end of the video is what redeems the whole viewing experience, it's the best part: the bear survived!!! The bear freakin' survived! Hooray!!!!

Yes, I would be insanely afraid of bears if they didn't look so cute and cuddly. Awwwww..... well, no actually, I am still scared of bears no matter how cute they look.

Tips On How To Win an Election

What you are about to read does not fully encapsulate my views on politics. It's more of a comic book version of my views... actually I just made it up, it makes no sense and you will learn absolutely nothing. You might even lose intelligence, but maybe that's a good thing. Us humans, we're a bit too smart for our own good, we could use a bit of stupididification.

I'm only gving out these tips because it's election season here, so we got a lot of arguing going on. I'm thinking I should run whenever I'm better, I'd love to be called senator.

Anyways, here are several excerpts from my playbook...

A Couple Tips on How to Win an Election

• Being loud, obnoxious, and incomprehensible are three key facts to winning arguments. If your opponent can't understand what you're saying it only makes him look stupid. Only stupid wussy intellectual types will think you are stupid for being loud, obnoxious, and incomprehensible, but most of those intellectuals are stuck in their ivory towers and can easily be dismissed as commie bastards.

• Be brash, brazen, call your opponent a 'homosexual pedophile,' slander his good name as much as is legally possible. Slandering your opponent is a great way to have fun and relax, but it's also a hell of a lot cheaper than making sense.

• Look confident, sneer a lot, have a toothpick between your teeth, and crack your knuckles.

• Make people believe you're Santa Claus. Promise everything to everyone. You cannot promise enough, promise this and promise that, you gotta be a promising machine. You gotta be pretty good with reading people, knowing what makes them tick and what they want in life. Once you can read them, you know every pretty little thing they wanna hear. You can tell that weird cowboy guy he can have his freakin' pink pony if that's what he wants. But you got to do this promising with a big fat smile on your face, a smile that hides all the crazy deceit seeping through every bone in your body, deceit which your eyes might betray from time to time. Which brings me to the next point...

• Make sure you have extremely, ridiculously shiny million watt looking teeth. In effect, when you smile, the dazzle will be so blinding that people won't be able to see the subtle hint of deceit betrayed by your eyes. The eyes never lie, and that's why you make sure people don't focus on 'em.
  

• Have about 4 gnarly looking bouncer types standing behind you in the shadows, at all times!!! Try and arrange it so that only their silhouettes are perceptible to those around you. It helps if the bouncer types wear fedoras and smoke, the smoke will create a hazy, nefarious, maybe someone's gonna get murdered if they piss me off kinda atmosphere. This will further instill fear in your opponent. Intimidation works!

• Use the media! Release fake reports that tacitly link you to the mob, this will help prevent your opponent from even thinking about slandering your good name. If he thinks you're cozy with the mob, he'll be too worried about a new pair of cement shoes and the sad dim glow of sunlight that reaches him at the bottom of a lake, reminding him that if he had kept his slanderous mouth shut, he could be a hell of lot less dead, not to mention getting a better tan.

• Turn negatives into positives. Did your opponent or the media discover that you, the family man, participated in a wild, crazy, awesome sex orgy the night before (you don't regret a minute of it), not to mention the dead hooker they found in the trunk of your car (that of course is a bit more damning). You got a lot of explaining to do. Here's what you do. Say it's all a misunderstanding. It's actually your sorry, failure of a brother who did all this, and since he looks like you, everyone was mistaken and thought it was you (this is a plausible story, please refer to the Carter family for precedent). Next, explain how amazing it is that you were able to find success, considering the gene pool you come from includes such a wicked, amoral brother as yours. Please feel free at this point to include stories of your dire, miserable upbringing (sure it was upper-middle class, but has a bit of embellishment ever hurt anybody?), and that through sheer will and talent you have beaten the odds and found the path to success. People will drink that shit up like kool-aid.
  

• Talk about God. Make sure people know how much you love God. Tell them night and day. Find a church, accost some churchgoers, and coerce them into telling the media how devout you've been all these years. Once again, if you've got to convince these people to lie for you the hard way (ie, putting a gun to their head to lie about how great and pious you are), do it, you need the votes. Just make sure you don't get caught in your coercive measures.
  

• Have lots of money. Lots, lots, and lots. None of our senators is less than a multi-millionaire (or so I believe), so make sure you are super rich, you'll have better chances of winning.

• Win baby. That is your code, the pillar of your existence. I don't care if you have to sell your kids to the Dalai Lama! And don't forget to always lie your freakin' pants off. Evade the truth, evade it like Ali avoiding punches, be that butterfly that dances around the truth, dodging it with grace and beauty. Truth is your kryptonite, it's radiation poisoning, anathema... Avoid the truth and do whatever it takes to win baby!!!
  

• And always remember, sucker punches are perfectly acceptable, even encouraged in the art of politics. You gotta be a bastard, but you gotta love being a bastard to win!

Crap, the cynicism from this writing spilled over onto my hands and onto my shirt. Yucky, I hate cynicism, get it off me, get it off!!! What kind of detergent should I use?

A New Version of Hamlet (Extremely Violent and Modernized), Ghost Pictures, and My Personal Experiences with Ghosts and Monsters

This movie needs to be made, maybe directed by Quentin Tarantino, that would be nice.

I stumbled across this page that has the top ten best ghost photographs, EVER! I'm finally vindicated! I was at that dinner party a while back, telling everybody about the monsters and ghosts that live in my closet. My closet houses a variety of monsters, there are those with googly eyes, jello heads, ghastly hammerhead shark teeth, then there are those with samurai sword arms and drugged out junky bodies who ask me for a dollar, there's also a rubik's cube monster who slobbers all over my pillow when I'm out of my room, not to mention the chocolate frosted covered mini-zombie rabbit army that hides under my bed (this is why I don't sleep well). Those stupid chocolate rabbit mini-zombies are waging war against the Chuck Norris wannabe milk carton monsters who when not fighting, or pillaging my fridge, play their insanity inducing harmonicas. I know, I know, how do I protect myself you ask. Well, I'll tell you, in case you have similar problems, but only because I'm feeling extremely charitable. I've found that if I stuff baby carrots and mashed potatoes under my mattress, a magical shield is created around my bed, a shield so powerful that not even these psychotic monsters can do me any harm.

Anyways, pardon my loquaciousness. Back to the dinner party. Suffice it to say, the dinner guests ridiculed me beyond belief, telling me, "Oh Sebastien, you are insane, monsters and ghosts aren't real. The doctors must have injected you with a big dose of crazy when you were born." So infuriated was I that I broke out into tears of righteous anger. I just hate it when you KNOW you are right, and everybody else is so dumb and wrong. Freakin' herd mentality.

You better respect ghosts and monsters, they are FOR real, not fake, and if you don't give them some respect, they will mess you up. Those mean bastard ghosts actually worked with the CIA in developing the wicked torture methods that we use today. Those ghosts have very twisted minds.

Wow! I didn't mean to write this story, just sort of happened. I'm not doing drugs, I promise!

Awesome Quotes

I just talked to some old friends from college, and it was wonderful hearing their voices. Some of them I hadn't been in touch with in a very long time. It just so happened that the friend I called was at a party with all these other friends. Anyways, I think it helps me, talking with old friends gives me extra strength to make it through these difficult times.

I'd like to share some quotes that really resonate with me. They mostly deal with adversity and suffering.

• "Know how sublime a thing it is to suffer and be strong."

• "All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming." Helen Keller

• "He who has hope has everything."

• "He who suffers much will know much."

• "Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before."

• "Determination, patience, and courage are the only things needed to improve any situation."

• "Never talk defeat. Use words like hope, belief, faith, victory."

• "Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict."

• "The mind is everything. What you think you become."

• "A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner."

And with that battery of quotes, I'm ready to murderate this illness! Hooray!

Can You Guess The Number I'm Thinking Of? It's Between One and a Million

Probably not, but if you do guess right I'll smoke crack for a year and document the experience via photography and film.

I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm reeaaaaallly bored.

Here's a song that always makes me happy and makes me want to get up and dance!

Oh! And I just discovered this song by a band called Shonen Knife. How awesome is this...

Violent Movies, Who Doesn't Like Them?

First of all, a moment of silence so we can give thanks that there are so many ridiculously violent and amazing movies out there to choose from and watch.

I just watched Assault on Precinct 13, and I was thoroughly entertained. It was nicely shot, had good action, and something interesting was always happening (mostly someone getting shot or blowed up every 3-5 minutes). Most of us like this last fact because at heart we are all sadists.

Anyways, Assault on Precinct 13 is one of the few kinds of movies I've been able to watch since I've been ill. Why you ask? I'll actually be serious for a moment. My headaches can be pretty bad and last a long time, so it's hard to focus on anything that isn't extremely visceral and carnage-ridden. Nonetheless, I've always had a love of the violent at every stage in my life, whether it be Schwarzenneger, Stallone, it doesn't matter who does the blowing up, so long as it gets executed in the most bombastic and theatrical ways possible.

Seeing things getting blown apart is satisfying to us all. Yet while I love and treasure this violence, I am at heart such a peaceful person. You could call it the paradox of my existence, of every man. Maybe the love of violence and destruction is part of our cultural rage because we are frus.... haha just kidding, who cares, just go throw in a crazy ass violent DVD right now and soak up all that stuff getting blown up, and be proud of our culture that is cool enough to allow this kind of wacky and seriously messed up shit to be made in the first place.

My Thoughts on an Animated Dinosaur Movie, Immanuel Kant, and Muhammad Yunus

Movie Thoughts

I watched part of this random animated dinosaur movie (mostly because I felt spaced out and tired will be my official excuse). All I can say about it: it was weird and kind of annoying, but I couldn't stop watching it for about 20 minutes.

I have no intellectual thoughts and great comments to make about the movie, although I do have this strange desire where I'd like to find a connection between this film and Immanuel Kant. What would Kant think about this movie? I think the movie allowed my mind to transcend reality and understand the limitation of empirical observations. I think that would make Kant happy.

I'm sorry for making you read that, there was no point to any of that.

Thoughts on International Politics and Yucky Stuff Like That

I know, I know. North Korea's got you down, making you worried about a new era of nuclear proliferation. First of all, be thankful you don't live in Japan. If you do live in Japan, well... be thankful you don't live in North Korea. If you live in North Korea, well shoot, I suppose you can always be thankful you don't live in the tinderbox that is Iraq.

As for some wonderful news that I consider uplifting and upbeat: Muhammad Yunus won the Nobel Peace Prize for his work in lending money to poor Bangladeshis. This work has helped to spread a movement of microcredit loans in the developing world, giving some of the world's poorest people opportunities and a chance at success. The story is genuinely uplifting, and it's a reminder that there are great possibilities in making the world better for everyone.

Two Lists: Five Things I'd Like To Do When I'm Better and Five Goals I'd Like to Achieve Once I'm Better

Thanks to Anomie-Atlanta for giving me this idea. I'm going to try and avoid writing the obvious, things like painting or riding my bike. Not too sure if there's much of a difference between goals and things you want to do... but who cares!

Five Things I'd like to do when I'm better:

• Spend more time with friends.

• Kiss the girl I love in the middle of the desert, under the night sky. I'm a hopeless romantic :)

• Visit my grandparents, relatives, my sister, and really make efforts at seeing my good friends in this world.

• Read a book in peace, without my head hurting.

• Explore Arizona by hiking and camping, and sorry, but I gotta mention it...BIKING!!!

Five Goals I'd like to work on once I'm better:

• Write a book about this part of my life. This may be years down the line, I'd like this to be a solid undertaking which I can execute to the best of my abilities. Years of perspective will probably be helpful. I want the story to be positive in outlook and inspirational if possible, but hopefully I can rein in any sappiness, self-promotion, and delusions of grandeur... although, I do find people with 'delusions of grandeur' to be oh so entertaining.
  

• Get my art business off the ground, while maintaining moderation and balance in my life.

• Volunteer some of my time to help the mentally ill or younger kids in need.

• Improve my Spanish, and learn German.

• Live as closely to my ideals as possible, basically being as good of a person as I can!

Well, we'll see what happens...

Insane Video of Bike Jumps, Dancing Cats, and a Map of Springfield (Simpsons)

I wonder how much you rack up in medical bills with this kind of thing as your hobby??? There is a tiny part (ok, ok, I'm lying, a huge part!) of me that would love to do this. The minute I'm better, I'm not going to smoke crack, I'm going to jump off huge dangerous rocks with my bike and enjoy the several seconds before impact. New medical problems, here I come!!! And hurray for all the sadists out there!

• Dancing Cats: Nicole has posted the most hilarious thing ever, dancing cats!!! The cats have such power that they will make you laugh, cry, and allow you to understand the meaning of life. Please be on the look out for technocat, he's hilarious.

• Simpsons' Map: Who wants to see a map of Springfield, the imaginary town where the Simpsons reside? Well ok, I know this is pretty high up there in terms of triviality and unimportantness, and interest in such a subject can easily be called nerdy and very nearly tips over into the realm of the psychotic. Nonetheless, I found this was an enjoyable time waster!

Another Little Monster Drawing, More About My Health, and How Bout One More Song I Love

Say 'Hello' to my little fwend...



So, this is another little drawing(I think he's a very close cousin to those freakin' killer rabbits). In moments I feel ok I'm able to make these simple little cartoony things. I like making little monster characters, I've been able to develop some crazier and more intricate ones which I'll try and post in due time. It's a wonderful feeling when I feel well enough to draw, but I just can't wait to be healthy and truly productive again!!!

Aaarrghhh! I've been headachy today, I'm so ready to be better and doing things again! I hope this thing ends soon enough, I'm bored out of my mind but the ridiculous bind I'm in is that I usually don't feel well enough to 'unbore' myself! I'm just glad I had those couple days where I felt good, the closest I felt to normal throughout this whole illness. I know I'm getting better, but I am so fed up with these headaches.

One cool thing though, that proves that I'm better: I'm finally able to start thinking about all the art projects and business things(I know this is very vague, it's not drug dealing though I promise:) I'm going to set up when I'm better.

Anyways, I'm also including another of my favorite songs, Marty Robbins' El Paso, a song that is unbelievably truly ridiculously amazing in it's greatness.

One of My Favorite Songs Plus Temporary Elation About My Health

I felt quite good today, I'm really starting to believe I'm going to get better! There've been times with this illness that my getting better felt impossible, my body just always felt wrong, weak, headachy, lifeless, and painful. I'm finally getting some of my crazy energy back at times, albeit briefly, and at least my mind is working better(no snide remarks on this please!) and doesn't feel like a sludge ball as much. I know it's going to take a while, and a couple of good days are always buttressed by difficult weeks of headaches and fatigue. I just feel so elated, I finally truly believe I'm going to be better! I'm going to bust out the crack pipe the minute I'm really better, and get soooooo high!!! But seriously, maybe I will.

This is one of my favorite songs! Guided by Voices' Official Iromen Rally Song

A More Grisly Header? and the movie Sea of Love

1.Working on the Header
I'm still fiddling around with this header, fortunately I've been feeling well enough to work in photoshop! I'm making it more gory, because I think that's what we all want, more violence, blood, guts, etc... We love that stuff. I guess with this new header my site probably got bumped up to an R rating. Anyways, more ideas are always welcome. Maybe I'll change one of the people out from the picture and instead include a rabid dog eating a human leg, as Shaymus mentioned. Not sure if I can pull it off, but certainly worth a try. Ah, the myriad ways I amuse myself!

2. Movie: Sea of Love
I was able to catch huge chunks of this movie last night, but sadly I missed some parts because of phone calls. Without even realizing it I found myself immersed in the story and completely engrossed with the characters. Al Pacino is amazing(as usual), and the mood and atmosphere of the film were amazingly well constructed. I hope this is on tv sometime, because I need to see the whole thing. This movie has a film-noir sort of feel to it, which I love, and if you couple that with a great actor like Pacino, well, you just can't go wrong. John Goodman was in this movie, and he's also excellent. Anyways, I highly recommend this film even though I didn't see all of it :)

I'm Slightly Tempted to Use This As My Header

This is a little on the macabre side, but maybe I should use something like this for my header because Halloween is coming up! I have quite a few other ideas...let me know if you have an idea for this.

I Just Realized Steven Seagal is Awesome and Links to Dark, Twisted yet Somehow Sweet Arty Stuff

• Steven Seagal is Great: As my dad and I watched a Steven Seagal movie on tv the other night, we both came to the conclusion that this guy is ridiculously awesome. I thought I should share that, because I too want you to bask in the superamazingness that are Seagal's films(now that I think about it, you probably already know how awesome he is, as for me, I'm always behind in figuring things out!). The movie we saw, Above the Law, was especially great because it took place in classy ol' Chicago! Seagal's movies are completely formulaic and hilarious, yet there's something poetic in their silliness. Or am I just delusional now...
  

• Animation: There's an animation link over at Cruelly Cunning that is really worth checking out. The animation is a creepy crawly gothy sort of thing, and showcases a tiny girl, a mouse, and weird little monster thingies that grow out of the girl's head. My verdict: Unbelievably cool.
  

• Scary Art Links: Stumbling across the internet lately I've run into some fascinating finds. Here's a couple of links to creepy crawly gothy arty stuff that hopefully won't upset your stomach too much. This first link, Elizabeth McGrath's site, is probably the nastiest of the links. The second link is Mizna Illustration, definitely more cutsy, at least some of the work is. Third is this site called Babyart, uh, well, you'll see. There's some wickedly crazy stuff here. Lastly is a link to Spookyland. I've been getting more and more interested in this kind of happily creepy artwork lately.

A Monarch Butterfly, Grocery Item Reviews, My Connection to the NFL, Japanese Simpsons Commercials

• Little Creature: I saw a beautiful Monarch butterfly as I was eating lunch outside. It's always uplifting seeing such dazzling little creatures fluttering about!

• Grocery Item Reviews: LA over at My Looking Glass has a post on something that sounds like it could be as addictive as crack. This new addiction? Grocery item reviews over at Amazon. Follow her links to the reviews, and I think you'll understand the greatness that lies within these grocery reviews.

• Random NFL Thing: Listening to an NFL game yesterday, Packers vs. Rams, I kept hearing the same name over and over again, Noah Herron. It turns out he's a running back for the Green Bay Packers, and he had a really good game, going for over 100 yards and scoring a touchdown. Well, it finally clicked and I realized that this was the same guy who lived down the hall from me in college, and with whom I also played basketball with in quite a few pickup games over at Northwestern. Very random...but it was exciting watching someone I knew doing well in an NFL game!

• Too Much Spider Talk: Please stop freaking me out with all these crazy spider stories. These creatures are quickly rising in my list of things to fear. I even think I saw a black widow in our yard yesterday!

Japanese Simpsons Commercials!

Sesame Street Tried to Kill Me, Sharks, an Art Link, and the film, Sexo con Amor

• SESAME STREET: Sesame Street just got gangsterfied, so I'm gonna run for my life. I consider sharks, snakes, and airplane crashes as extreme fear-inducing things. I'm in terrible pain and full of melancholy and soul crushing sadness, because I must now add the classic Sesame Street to my list of things to fear.

• SHARKS: Do you, like me, have a morbid curiosity with all things related to sharks? Probably not, but if so, visit this site to fulfill your wacky desires.

• ART: I've been a huge fan of the New American Painting series for a long time. I just realized they have a website, and it's quite good, it includes links to some of the artists they feature in their magazine.

Language Practice: Quick notes on the Film Sexo con Amor in Spanish(please let me know of my mistakes por favor!):

Ayer vi una pelicula chilena de 2003, Sexo con Amor. Es una pelicula simpatica, la cosa que me gusta es en el titulo! Mucho sexo! Pero en serio, el cuento no es dificil a explicar, la historia revuelve sobre parejas de amores que tienen sus infidelades y problemas distintos con el sexo. La pelicula hace pregunatas como, por que hacemos el sexo y como se concilia el sexo con el amor. Los actores juegan muy bien, hay muchos momentos chistosos, y tambien me gusta la musica. No es una obra maestra, pero la pelicula me ayuda a pasar el tiempo de buena manera!

Es todo :)

++++++++++++UPDATE+++++++++++++++

WAT was kind enough to correct my mistakes, so I thought I should post his revision. Thanks WAT! Seeing the original and the revision side by side really helps me!

Ayer vi una película chilena del 2003, "Sexo con Amor". Es una película simpática, ¡lo que más me gusta es el título! ¡Mucho sexo! Pero en serio, el argumento no es difícil de explicar, se trata de parejas amorosas que tienen sus infidelidades y problemas distintos con el sexo. La película hace preguntas como, ¿por qué hacemos el sexo? y cómo se concilia el sexo con el amor. Los actores son muy buenos, hay muchos momentos chistosos, y también me gusta la música. ¡No es una obra maestra, pero la película me ayuda a pasar el tiempo de lo más bien.

Es todo. :)

Photoshop Tutorials Must Die, Paris Hilton, and a Disappearing Cat

I found this pretty cool looking photoshop tutorial. You start with any basic image of a person and turn it into a Roy Lichtensteinesque image. Cool, no? The tutorial makes it look so easy, but of course I'm running into some problem now. The problem is I can't figure out what the problem is! I think I'll try and work on it tomorrow if I feel up to it, the annoying part about this is that it's not often I feel well enough to do stuff on photoshop... Rest assured, I will triumph over this bullshit tutorial and create my own Lichenstein like art!!!! Why you ask? Well, I don't know, it just seems like a nice way to amuse myself.

• Paris Hilton News plus Dita Von Teese: I was getting a bit worried about Paris, she hadn't been in the news for a while, so I was begining to wonder if something had happened to her! Fortunately this delightful story popped up, fully reassuring me that Paris is alive and keeping on with the drama. While you're at Haute Gossip's website, check out the pics of Scarlett Johannson and Dita Von Teese, very very nice.
  
• In other news: I saw this really cool disappearing cat video. The cat looks like it gets teleported, the article accompanying the video explains how to set up this trick, there are a lot of mirrors involved. Now that I think about it, this whole thing is probably a fake but it's fun to think that it's real :)
  

Bicycle Chase

I'd like to post a video I just found. Reminiscint of that classicly bad yet fun bike messenger film, Quicksilver, you know, the one starring Kevin Bacon. The biker in this video comes pretty close to getting crushed by a semi. In other words, pure unadulterated entertainment!!!



Observations of the day: The crickets...the crickets are everywhere!!!! The Yankees got destroyed today. For some reason I am disappointed by that. I love the word rascacielo.

I've been tagged: 5 Random Facts About Myself

I've been tagged by SKY. So 5 random facts about myself, here goes...

• Odd thing I'm fascinated with: bike maps. I've combed the internet for cities that send free bike maps. Once they arrive I put these up on my wall...so far I have Phoenix, Tempe, San Diego, Chicago, New York, Seattle, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. I'm looking to go international! Send me a bike map from your city!!!!

• I'm one of those twisted souls who loves the feeling of getting up at the crack of dawn. Not because I smoke crack.

• My favorite artist is Ivan Albright. One I don't like...please don't pull out your machetes!!! Andy Warhol.

• When I get a hold of the newspaper, the first part I jump to is the last page of Arizona Living, in other words, the trashy celebrity gossip section!!!

• My favorite place in the world is Quinson, a tiny village of 200 people in the south of France. The town has a magical feel to it, plus my grandfather was from there :)

I will now tag Stratocat, Jayne, and WAT.

Simpsons en Espanol,the Digable Planets in English, and Theo Jansen

1. LANGUAGE PRACTICE FOR THE DAY
Mira este video de los Simpsons, es uno de mis favoritos. Es la primera vez que miro los Simpsons en una otra lengua que ingles. Me gusta!!! Hay otros Simpsons en espanol a youtube. Tambien quiero descubrir videos de los Simpsons en frances!



2. MUSIC FOR THE DAY
Back to English. Here's a song by the Digable Planets that I ran across on youtube. I've never seen it before, I really like the way it's shot, and the song is just great.



3. LINK FOR THE DAY(ART RELATED)
Norwoodmatt posted a great video at his blog. It's actually a BMW commercial featuring a kinetic sculpture by Theo Jansen. Very impressive. I found some photos of his work at this site.

Notes: I'm not even going to get into how I've been feeling this past week, but it's been rough :(

Random Fun Stuff

Lets start they day off well, shall we? This video offers one more reason you should be proud to be an American!!! Caveat: the video is crude, immature, and shouldn't be watched by people who don't enjoy hearing naughty language.



In other news...

• Porn Star Injures Leg in Skydiving Sex Scene. This story is a gem, the perfect embodiment of our wacky culture.
  

• If you still need extra confirmation of our culture's wackiness, please check out this post at Sam's blog.

• Also, if you enjoy animated tv series, please check out Jeremy's article on the current state of animation, a most edifying post.

Sharks, did you think I had stopped worrying about you?

This post involves one item which melds two things that utterly fascinate me: art and sharks.

Because I spend an unbelievable amount of time thinking about sharks, my mind was bound to get around to this question.

Whatever happened to that art piece by Damien Hirst, “The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living”?

Basically, whatever the hell happened to that huge, rotting, frightening, yet delightfully dead giant shark which Damien Hirst artfully placed in a giant tank? I was going to tell you, but my link died. Instead I'll provide this link to Hirst's bio.

Although Hirst's shark piece is cool/ridiculous(depending on your views), we can't ever forget that sharks are everywhere, very much alive, very very hungry, and they love the thrill of feasting on poor defenseless humans who don't even see them coming and don't stand a measly chance against such magnificently awesome apex predators.

That is all :)

+++++++++UPDATE+++++++++++++++++
I found a site that links to a video of Hirst refurbishing his giant shark piece!!!! Coooooooooollll.

Curse of the Were-Rabbit and the Creation of Supermouse

Good news: I finally saw this movie, it was on tv the other day! Hurray!!

Unfortunately this wonderful stroke of luck is tempered by the fact that I felt very sick, so I had a hard time fully appreciating the movie.

The rabbits in the movie are so great, makes me want to have pet rabbits. Wait a second, I forgot!!! Rabbits are evil and demonic!!! At the very least the rabbits in my yard are evil, having forcibly seized the yard and established a totalitarian rabbit regime that continually flouts my authority.

Don't be fearful. On one of my good days I was able to capitalize on my ridiculously amazing ingenuity. Using full-on brain power I was able to create a top-notch prototype to fight these evil fiends. My creation(pictured below) is a very very good-looking, charming, genetically altered saber-toothed supermouse. I am expecting that this supermouse will be doling out some wicked punishment to those fiendish rabbits...

Sunday News

I can't help but feel like a lot of weird perverted stuff has been in the news lately.

As confirmed through a post at Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns, Screech, aka the nerdy guy from Saved By the Bell, is coming out with a sex tape. No words can fully explain my shock, all I can do is fall out of my chair in a fit of delirious laughter. Yet, with much agony and heart-wrenching, gut-searing pain I must now cross out Saved by the Bell from my list of wonderful childhood memories. Why Screech??? Why oh why!!!

And then there's the story involving Congressman Mark Foley. Hmmm, I think this is going to the top of my list of hilariously stupid things, unfortunately, as funny as it seems, it's really disconcerting and jars even my sensibilities. The worst part about it is that other representatives knew what was going on. I guess it's just sad, and leaves me feeling disappointed.

To brighten things up...turn your maturity factor down a couple notches(yeah, as if that's necessary!!) and revisit your 12 year old self, so that you can fully appreciate this hilarious prank phone call. Please note, I think prank calls are pretty stupid, yet, I can't stop laughing at this call. Somehow I figured out how the kid doing this got Arnold's voice, he used this Arnold soundboard.